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He's 15, I'm 19, and I'm due to have his baby any day!

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *oved911 writes:

okay its going to sound weird that im asking this question now being in the predicament were in...here goes im 19 (girl) and my boyfriend is only 15..the reason were together is because he lied about his age for a year and when his mom told me the truth i was way too deep into the relationship to turn back..im nine months pregnant by him technically over due my baby was due yesterday 9/9/10 but nothings going on down there yet..any how i just wanted to know if you think im really a bad person being in love with someone so young if this helps his birthday is 12/3 and mine is 12/24 so for a little while the age isnt that big of a deal until of course my birthday comes around thanx for reading, please reply

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A female reader, Shelbyy-x United States +, writes (8 February 2012):

Shelbyy-x agony auntIm a little late to reading this. I havent been on forever! But congrats on your baby! And I actually had a baby boy with the guy I was talking about but we are no longer together, which is for the better. My babys name is Kyson and he was born 12/10/11

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A female reader, loved911 United States +, writes (28 September 2010):

loved911 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanx to thos of you who were nice n helpful..thanx to those of you who showed knowledge to the whole situation..n screw the rest of you..SHELBYY you caught my eye the most because i already had a plan which was the same plan u stated i jus wanted to kno if i was a bad person..thanx for the luck you wished me n im also wishing you luck on a wanted pregnancy your in my prayers babe..i gave birth to my beautiful daughter 9.12.10

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (11 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntAge is just a number but there is a law here that was broken. You had sex with a minor, thus committing statutory rape regardless if it was consented or not. Now, your pregnant, just hope his parents don't decide to press charges. He lied to you about his age, thus he's pretty immature for doing so...Girls do mature faster than boys.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

"Some people are so rude," so says the people that are participating in non-age appropriate relationships. It's wrong and likely illegal in the state you reside in. Seek legal counsel before going to give birth if you plan on disclosing who the father is.

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A female reader, Shelbyy-x United States +, writes (11 September 2010):

Shelbyy-x agony auntoh my god. some people are so rude. NO you're not a bad person. you cant change your feelings. and you didnt know he was this young. Im 17 and my boyfriend is 23. age to me is just a number and its not going to stop me from who i love. although he is young to have a baby its possible i know many people who have had babys at young ages. maybe it will make him mature, maybe it wont. and you're 19, you know how to take care of a baby im sure. so i think you will be okay =]

and when you do have his baby.. you could say you dont know who the father is. and when hes legal change the birth certificate and put his name on there. I want a baby myself.. but i think im infertile or he has low sperm count.. Idk. but congrats on the baby! & hopefully you will work things out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010):

I empathise with you because a very similar thing happened to me several years ago. I fell in love with someone who was a little bit younger than me (I thought), except that 2 years after being very involved with this man, I realised that he had lied about his age and was in fact quite a lot younger than me and only just turned legal when he told me his real age.

I was extremely angry with him for putting me in that position, and with me for ...well, for allowing myself to get duped, but as I said, I was deeply in love with him by that stage and by then he was over the legal age limit. I often question what my reaction would have been if he had not quite reached legal age yet. A difficult decision would have had to be made.

Please ignore the accusatory comment by one anonymous male here. You have the birth of your child to look forward to and that for now, is your priority. I cannot advise on the legal issues in your country, but even if it does become a problem, right now is not the time to worry about that. However, I do think you should seek legal advice, and take it from there. After all, you have not told us how old you believed your boyfriend was when you got together, nor whether you knew his real age when you got pregnant by him. I'm just trying to illustrate that there may be reasons why you did what you did.

In terms of your feelings being 'wrong', no of course they are not wrong. You cannot be condemned for feeling the way you do and especially not when you didn't know all the facts of his age when you started this relationship. You are young and he even more so. However, you do have to bear in mind the legalities of your situation within the state you live in, seek legal advice, and you will have to act accordingly. Good luck and all the best with baby.

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A female reader, WhateverMovesThee United States +, writes (10 September 2010):

WhateverMovesThee agony auntWeelll, don't focus so much on the age thing. He lied, you're older blah blah :p No, I personally don't think you are a bad person for feelings you cannot help. But, you have a baby coming and since this boy thought himself mature enough to date you, he's going to have to walk his talk. Let me tell right now that this situation is going to be a lot of pressure on his head. Women mature faster than men so that will might make the age gap seem even wider. Be prepared to deal with his feelings of frustration...but then again, I might be wrong and he may be quite mature and able to handle this. I can't say for sure...whats done is done, you will both soon have a baby. A life to nurture and love. Babies don't care about mommy or daddy's age! Congrats on the baby and good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010):

Wow... Besides the statutory rape situation the age thing really isn't a big deal. He lied about his age for a year? He was 13 then?? Because 9 months ago he was 14... give me a break. You really need to get some professional help if you think having sex with 14 and 15 years old is okay at 19. This boy doesn't have a clue what his life is about yet (and neither do you), but he is really really clueless whereas you are just somewhat clueless. Good luck with it. Except for the fact that your child would be screwed through no fault of its own, I would hope you go to jail for what you've done.

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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (10 September 2010):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntHe lied to you so of course you are NOT to blame for falling for him before you found out how old (or should I say young) he actually is. I guess he could get emancipated or something and even get married but the question is do you think he's mature enough to be a husband and a father, and is he even to be trusted considering he's been lying to you for a whole year... Don't think about what others say, who cares, all that's important is that you, as a mother, figure out what's the best decision you can make for your kid. Good luck:)

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A male reader, OmegaXF United States +, writes (10 September 2010):

OmegaXF agony auntWell the age thing is a huge issue seeing as how you are an adult and he is a minor. That baby might be the worst thing for you legally. There is no happy ending that you are hoping for since the law won't see it that way.

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