A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I'm 23 years old and I've been with an amazing woman for about a year and a half. We do everything together and ts been by far the best time of my life. We get along great and share almost identical values, ambitons, political views, everything. When we do have disagreements nothing hurtful is ever said and all arguments are resolved right away in a healthy manner. In other words shes as mature as they come, and I cant bare the thought of spending my life with anyone else. Weve both grown to depend on eachother for so many things. We dont discuss marriage because I dont ever want to feel like I rushed into anything or forced her into anything, but I think we both kinda know for sure it will happen when we finish school. Shes told me numerous times she wants to be with me forever and she knows I feel the same way. My dilema is Im from a very accepting white family and shes from a very traditional korean family. I havent even met her parents yet. It hasnt been a huge problem yet because she doesnt live at home, also her parents barely speak english so shes not even that close to them. When she is home from school on breaks we have to sneak around like kids and thats what bothers me. If her parents did find out that I wasnt of their ethnicity it would be disaterous because they pay all of her bills and for her college. It could end today if they simply overheard her telling me she loves me. Even if they checked the phone bill and saw how often my number pops up they would start investigating. Eventually I will have to meet them when we get married but we both know they wouldnt accept me. So what should I do? Its a horrible feeling knowing my whole life could come crashing down at any moment and I need to do something now so I can sleep at night. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): This is the 21st century.
Both of you need to grow a set of balls and stand up to such old and outdated viewpoints.
They, by law, cannot control who theor daughter dates at this point in her life-span.
She needs to get a job and start becoming independant and then she will have no need for their money should they chose to cut her off.
Eventually they will see reason and learn to accept and stop being so racist. It will take time, how long depends on them, but it will happen.
So tell them. And let them know, both of you, that while you value their opinions on the matter, they will not influence how youm two feel about it each other, or your relationship, whatever they say or do.
Flynn 24
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