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Help! Curiousity killed the cat!

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2010)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Almost 9 months ago I touched my sister because we were looking at porn. I asked her what a vagina felt like an asked if I could feel hers it was a light touch. I'm 16 how do I get through this she was 13.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

Thank you so much everyone this helped. An my sister is over it she jus blew it off. It was jus me that was struggling. But now Im over it I feel like I can live my life now. I didn't wake up this morning thinking about it. I've been waiting for that for a while now. I struggled so bad I would cry driving down the road after church. Now I feel free. THANK YOU. God Bless!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

Your sister is one of the most important people who will ever be in your life. Sit down and apologize to her, and I mean really apologize. She has to know how wrong it was, or she will go through life with a huge chip on her shoulder.

Next step is to reassure her it will never happen again because it was so stupid, on your part.

I know you're young and horny as heck, but don't introduce your sister to your bad behaviour.

Family, in this case; your sister's feelings come first. So you need to man-up early.

What you did was wrong kid.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

to the second anonymous, I do NOT agree with your comment. unless you are a small child, it is not "okay" or "natural" to touch your siblings in a sexual way! I an disgusted that you would say that it's normal for a teenager to "explore" his sister! please realize that you are influencing a teenager by what you say.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (14 October 2010):

The Realist agony auntTalk to her about it. Try to work through any problems she has with it and then move on. Try not to let it happen again but if you both are ok then just leave it in the past and forget about it. I'm sure you weren't rough with her and if she let you then there should not be any anxiety behind it so it would be best then to forget about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

As children we do things that are, by adult social standards, simply wrong. (running around naked and weeing in the fish pond, would be one)

But when we are born we have no true understanding of doing anything, so the only way to learn, is to do it.

Luckly for most people they do not remember the majority of there childhood, maybe because remembering how they learnt, what, went, where or simply how it felt, would be too much for them to cope with, in the context of Adult Social Standards.

Firstly, I'm not going to assume that you coerced her or that she feels bad about what happened. As you say "you asked what it felt like" and touched it.

You know how bad you feel now, as you have a greater understanding of what it all means to have done this and you know that it will never happen again.

EVEN if she wants you to !!! I know this sounds an odd thing to say but, Unfortunatly for me, I remeber most of my child hood.

A friend and I whilst playing Doctors and Nurses examined my sister (whos 2 years younger than us). We were fascinated and asked if we could see her 'bits', she obliged and we used match sticks to move the skin around to see what was there, all very gently and my sister giggled alot whilst my friend and I made coments such as "what on earth is that" and "ouw it's all sticky", we used match sticks because neither of us wanted to touch it, after all it was icki and yuk! ... (its a childs mind after all).

That was one single night when we were 6-7 years old and that was it until later on.

I was about 13-14 years old when my sister became fascinated by my penis (without going into too much detail) she touched it couple of times on one occation.

I found myself feeling very uncomforatble about the fact I enjoyed it and the fact it was my sister.

So the next time she asked if she could touch it again, I explained that I did NOT WANT to do it again, SHE was NOT the REASON I did NOT want to do it, but for ME it just did NOT FEEL right. It was ok for it to have happened but I did not feel it was APPROPRIATE for it to happen again. She did not understand why I felt this saying "well you enjoyed it, it grew, so why not", but she finally accepted that I did not want to do it again. And it never did, happen again.

I hope that you will note the couple of elements that are very important in this,

Firstly NO-ONE is to BLAME, it was COMPLETELY NATURAL EXPLORATION and there should be NO SHAME in that experience, what occured was completely CONSENTUAL and that it would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN because of the way it made you FEEL.

You've had this particular learning experience rather late on in life, so it will be harder for you to forget, but the following will help.

Your sister needs your support and understanding, guidence as to what is appropriate for her. NOT for her AGE, but for her, as a human being learning about life.

She must not think that what you both did was dirty or wrong! BUT you've DONE THAT NOW its BORING lets do SOMETHING ELSE.

Divert her ATTENTION away FROM PORN, but being 13 that will be some what difficult, deal with it in a FACTUAL MANNER and REMOVE the EMOTIONAL element IF she brings it up!

Find other games to play.

and Please, Please, Please do not crusify yourself for what has gone on, it is simply the way you learn how you feel about doing things and what you don't feel comfortable doing.

Everyone goes through the same thing wether it be with there sisters, brothers, next door neighbours daughter or the girl you like spending lots of time with when you 4 and you don't know why until the tickelling begins to feel different.

Its simply how human beings learn.

Just to put it in an absolute context - if we did not learn like this and feel what it was like to do these things, then the crime rate for everything would be through the roof, as we would not have the UNDERSTANDING or the EMOTIONAL FEELING of what NOT to do.

- SO -

Take a deep breath, stop crying and give your little sister a big hug. .... oh and hide the porn ;)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010):

first help her get over it in anyway you can... then when she forgives you, maybe you'll be able to forgive yourself (it will take lots of time) and to avoid this in the future, don't put yourself in situations like this. i.e. don't watch porn with your little sister! things like this dont happen if you stay away from things like that

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