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He wants me to wait until his problems are sorted out...do I wait or just move on?

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Question - (28 January 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello, I am haveing some problems with my relationship I need someones advice...I am very much in love with someone right now we have been talken for almost a yr and we feel the same about each other except we both have a lot of stuff going on within our families right now. I don't want to bother him about what we should do about our relationship bcuz of him having so many problems. He wants me to sit back and give him time but thats all I have given him I don't think I want to keep waiting on him I want to go out and have fun but he doesn't trust me to go out and do whatever...I have no idea what to do about this I need some HELP!!!!

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A female reader, DeeDoc United States +, writes (28 January 2007):

DeeDoc agony auntTHESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Hi dear, before I give you my thoughts on your situation, I feel that there is much more to this story than you stated. Maybe you should tell us more about what are the problems going on in the family. It is a bit vague. You keep stating "because of so many problems". If you do not mind, please tell us the problems facing the two of you. That might help in the advice department. Thanks much. =o)

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A female reader, jabey United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2007):

gosh, this is a tricky one, he wants you to give him space but then wont let you go out and have fun. That sounds pretty unfair to me !. Time for you to be a brave girl, i suggest you tell him again how much you love him and want to be with him. But can not put your life on hold. Tell him you will give him the space but in the meantime will definately go out and enjoy your life, and not wait for him forever. And that you are their for him as a friend. Now this will hopefully jolt him into some reality, he cannot expect you to put your life on hold for him indefinately, that is so unfair. Be strong and go out do your thing and if he really wants to be with you Im sure this will make him, offer more commitment to you.

By doing as he wants , staying in and waiting, he can just control you, thats not fair on anyone. Im sure he will respect you more if you get firm with him, which will hopefull produce more positive results in your relationship. People will often only treat us how we allow them to treat us. So tell him your life is going on and you love him dearly but really need to do your thing.

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