He seems to be selfish and spoiled but still I like him

A female age 36-40, *mj85 writes:

Hello, I am writing because i need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend nearly 14 months now and love him but his mum and dad (mum in particular) are quite old fashioned and 1950s in the way that his mum is a housewife and dotes on him. She makes him his butties EVERY morning for work (my mum does for me sometimes but not always)he doesnt pay anything to help out towards bills and doesnt have to do anything around the house and whenever i go round it seems like quite a sexist household (the women sit on one side, the men on the other or in seperate rooms) I asked his mum did he help with the housework or does he wash the pots or cook the odd meal (she was going on about woman doing the cooking) and she said wash your mouth out as if i had said a swear word. Whenever we go out, he expects me to organise our dates and they are always just going out for a meal. He is very generous and treats me to things and has said he isnt sexist but i feel as though he has got that from his mum and will treat me the same. On the second time i met his mum and dad i commented on something he said and he said 'shut it you' and they all laughed. I know it was a joke but it felt demoralising. I come from a mostly female family (my mum is a single parent who adopted me at the age of 9 and my granddad died when i was young leaving my grandma) and I have been brought up that women are equal and should be treated with respect. We get on very well and know how to make one another tick but he has a much higher sex drive than me and gets horny at the slightest thing making inuendos at me without me even giving him any inclination im wanting that or am in the mood. He also takes great pleasure in spanking me and i have told him its not really my thing but when he does it sometimes it turns me on but i dont want him to think he can 'punish' me by hitting me - its not nice. (Ive come from a few violent relationships and was abused as a young child)We havent had sex for 10 months because we both live with our parent/s and when we got the chance neither wanted to because his mum and dad were awake but the only time we did, he was extremely selfish, hes not very experienced but he came TWICE and immediately ran to the toilet to clean himself up and never helped me. I havent got anyone i can talk to but dont know how to get him to make love to me without leggin it to the toilet or being really selfish. He also is a big guy and im quite a big girl but when hes on top of me i couldnt breathe. I spoke to him about it and he said i dont want to hurt you so i suggested coming up with a word if we want to stop or take a breather or something. Any ideas for that?

View related questions: horny, in the mood, sex drive, violent

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A male reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 July 2009):

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