| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i just started having sex with my bf for the first time, but he says with a condom it decreases the sensation and i'm not "tight" enough for him to come easily. i lost my virginity to this guy, so why would i be too loose already? what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Using a condom is must. It's the better thing that prevents unwanted pregnancies. However, I cannot wholely agree with the problem being solely his. From experience, I masturbate a lot, with and without an intimate relationship. I once dated a girl a few years ago who was just so not tight. I don't know what it was about her. "Dead fish" syndrome? [laughs] I don't know, but she was really not tight, even when I took the condom off, same thing, so not tight.
However, for two of recent ex's, they had absolutely no trouble in getting me off during penetration. Especially my most recent ex, she was so tight. Heh, I always referred her as the 90% virgin. 8]
The thing is though, I wouldn't say Yos is wrong because excessive masturbation definitely does numb the feeling of the penis. So that's one thing to try. Ask him to masturbaing less, or not masturbate for a few days before having sex with you. It will make it feel a lot better.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (4 December 2006):
Don't let him talk you into this - he just wants sex without a condom. Women do get looser after childbirth, not when they've just started having sex! So there's no excuse in this case unless his equipment is the size of a pencil ;)
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 It's not you, it's him. He is probably masturbating a lot, what that does is makes him get used to the very firm pressure he can give with his hand. That makes it hard for him to come through intercourse because your vagina cannot be as tight as his fist.
The solution is simple: he needs to masturbate less.
If he still has problems it may also be because he masturbates to porn a lot. Porn is very visually stimulating and it can make it hard for someone to orgasm without it, if they get too used to it. It's like the crack cocaine of turn-ons (for some people).
And don't let him use this as an excuse to not use a condom. It's easy for him to say, but you'll be the one with the unwanted pregnancy and the difficult decision.
But as I said, its probably just that he's masturbating a lot. If he slows that down everything should be fine.
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