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female
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anonymous
writes: How would you feel if you felt that your boyfriends work was taking priority in your long distance relationship, he can't answer personal phone call, and hardly send emails because he is so, so busy, but to his other friends, and family he sends messages, and when I send one his reply, "it's so busy, cant chat" yes I understand and know for a fact that he is very busy, and he would NOT cheat on me!?But it hurts my feelings when I call out of concern and when i ask why he doesnt answer my calls nor my messages in my email he replies saying he hates the way i make him feel guilty, and he doesn't like my attitude and doesnt like the way that i make him feel as though he needs to explain himself. I've come to a point where I feel as though I can tell him how i feel when he hurts me in certain situations, because when I do tell him, I get the silent treatment, and he doesn't talk to me, then I like the stupid damsel in distress find myself apologising for something that i did not do wrong only to make the peace.When I'm busy, I ALWAYS send him something, last week only to get back at him, I didn't call nor send little messages for a few days only to see his reaction, he asks why i don't call like i did before. because he doesnt ans.I don't want to loose him, and i love him dearly, but i hate that there are certain things that I' feel that i can no longer talk to him about, MY FEELINGS WHEN HE HURTS ME INDIRECTLY.he doesn't do it on purpose, but when i tell him, he accuses me of making him feel guity, and it adds pressure to his work. that i feel has become the priority over me.Any Adviceplease. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): I really feel for you. It was such a pain waiting for my boyfriend to reply my emails and return my calls. He was always out with his friends I know and I don't know. He does the same thing as your guy does. Whenever I try to lead the converstaion towards my feelings and my needs, he remains silent.Even worse, I found out that he was seeing other women when I was away. We spent two weeks' time together in January. He turned off his phone, and checked it rather often at my back. His phone bill showed that, he was busy in texting another woman; while he left me hung in yahoo messenger, telling me that he was busy at work. I am not saying that your guy is cheating on you, but the lack of interest in maintaining communication is a red flag.I asked my boyfriend on his face if there is anything i should know. He said that everything is fine and I was just being jealous. What can I say? I am here waiting for the shoe to drop, with my broken heart. It is a really difficult situation indeed.
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (8 February 2006):
 You dont feel important, because he isnt treating you like you are. You say you do not want to lose him, but really he is doing everything to lose you, and it appears he doesnt care.
Its all in the actions, not his words. If he is giving you the silent treatment when you discuss your concerns, he does not care how you feel because it is all about him. He expects you to understand that he is busy with his friends, family, blah blah blah...but when it comes to your needs, he does not want to listen.
His actions are clearly communicating that he only cares about himself, and that you are low priority. You are feeling empty, because you are being ignored and neglected.
Dont waste your time on someone who makes you feel less than who you are. Tell yourself you deserve to have a good life and to be happy...and I mean happy and content with who you are. Dont try to live your hapiness through someone else.
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