A
female
age
,
*ow
writes:My husband has been seeing escorts for a few years (not sure just how many), I found out 2 years ago. He says the physical part is over (I'm not so sure about that); but he has a business relationship with a previous provider. Really! He writes her blogs, updates her website, helps her with her legitimate business(supposedly for cash/not trade). Any ideas? What do I do? I know who she is, her real identity.
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female
reader, disappointedwoman +, writes (29 August 2008):
I'm so sorry. I went through this too. The fact that your SO is blogging about this means he is completely unrepentant. I don't care how sorry he acts, after a while, that fades. If they think you won't leave, they start to believe you should just accept it as a part of life. I'm trying to understand this growing tend of suburban men seeing prostitutes...as if it is a normal thing to do.
A
female
reader, pow +, writes (26 October 2007):
pow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure what I expected, but while I agree with all of you, the bottom line is I really love this man and I believe that he loves me. I can't imagine my life without him. But at the same time, I'm not sure how I'll deal with all this worry day after day. But thank you all, I'll keep praying that we both do the right thing, whatever that might be, and that he'll realizes that what he's doing is breaking my heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Seems like you give somebody an inch they take a mile. It's over. You need to leave him, he has no respect for you and being with him has lead you to have no respect for yourself.
Good look
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Well, if he's got any respect at all for your feelings he'd not 'work' for this woman. There must be other people out there capable of updating blogs and websites etc . . . . .
Phil
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A
female
reader, pow +, writes (23 October 2007):
pow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Uncle Phil, A very good idea indeed. However, even though I know he's doing work for her (and he knows I know) I'm not supposed to talk to him about it. It's all very complicated. He thinks what he's doing is fine, even though he knows I hate that this women is back in his life. He says it's strictly for the money (plus he enjoys the work, kinda his modern day version of the old guy who reads Playboy, or so he says). What a wicked web we weave.....him wanting to do work for her....me wanting her out of my/his life.
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A
female
reader, tulipdame +, writes (23 October 2007):
From how he is acting - and even the term "provider" - shows that he still sees nothing wrong with seeing escorts, even if he might not be doing it anymore. Is it just a business relationship or a friendship as well? If you think about it in a certain context, "wife" is also sort of a business relationship.
It really seems to me like this new way of seeing her is a way of keeping her in his life, in some form, and avoid just having plain old you in it. I would look closer at this new type of relationship he has with her to see how much of it he needs to maintain and how much he wants to maintain.
Finding out that your husband has been using hookers for two years must be horrifying, whatever it is he is doing now. It's not a one time lapse in judgement - its a 2 year lapse in judgement. And he is not even in a real hurry to distance himself from all that! I would really take a long hard look at my life and see if its really worse my while to have anything to do with such a person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): If he's got a business relationship with a previous 'provider' (that's a neat description!) I assume she's paying him for his services, in which case if you know who she is he should be able to provide you with details of any cheques or payments made to him and show you his bank statements to back it up.
It might be an idea for you to insist that she pays by cheque so that you can see with your own eyes just how much he's earning from her, and if he's offering her any discounts.
Phil
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