A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm sleeping with a guy from college who i meet though mates, but he refuses to tell people about us. He took my virginty and he always treat me right, he just won't tell people about us. But the wierd thing is when we get on the bus to go home, he always touches me, and refuses to sit next to anyone but me, and when this guy was having a good at me because my music was too loud he stood for me. I just don't get it! Am i wasting my time?! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I don't see what's weird about this. You're a "friend with benefits" to him unless he has specifically told you that he's treating it as something more serious than that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): ON TOP of what I said, I noticed your opening line is "I'm sleeping with a guy from college who i meet though mates" - well he might also see this as a fling. "Sleeping with a guy from college" and NOT "Dating a guy from college". It's quite different, especially if he only sees you as a friend with benefits sort of thing - hence the 'protective' or gentlemanly mannerism.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Why don't you give it time?
There are many good and possibly bad reasons why he's not telling any of his friends and family. Plus remember, you gave him your virginity. He didn't force you. So with that said, why don't you just give your relationship more time, to see where it goes? Why are you jumping to conclusions of whether you are wasting your time or not?
If you've been with him for say a year or two, then sure, I'll say "Yeah, you have to ask him why he hasn't introduced you to his friends and family." Otherwise, at this point, I am guessing from the tone of your text, you haven't been together with this person that long.
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A
female
reader, whiteshadow  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 sounds like he is an older guy maybe? if he is then maybe he just doesnt feel ready to tell the world yet. But he can still have feelings for you.
Or.. if he is age 20- maybe he has a girlfriend. You said you was sleeping together which makes it sound like its just a bit of fun.
im probably wrong but worth a shot :)
good luck
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