A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Men, I have fallen for a guy who says he is ugly, and truly he is not a picture to look at. He is very overweight, had a stroke, in his late 50s, BUT I love being with him and enjoy his company and humour etc. I am considered attractive for my age (mid 50s also), BUT this guy is chatting to young women on the Internet and has arranged to stay with one in Russia who he has already met. He is always going on about her beauty and intelligence. Can any guy here give me a clue why a physically unattractive mid aged man would seek a young attractive woman when he and I already get on so well and have so many common interests and I am also younger than he is? Since his marriage break up he just seems to be after a woman in her 30s from outside the UK. He says he is wise to the reasons why woman abroad see European men (money etc), yet he is willing to have loneliness at home month after month for a fling in Russia. I just cannot help my feeling and I am trying to get on with my own life, but I am well and truly bitten by feelings for him, I feel so empty that he does not even acknowledge a friendship between us.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 I see your personal value, and I have no doubt that you'd be very, very good to him. However, he might be going after the young women simply for the adventurous sex. I understand he had a stroke; I don't know how serious it was, but maybe he thinks his life might be coming to an end anytime soon anyways, and he wants to get new all the new excitement he can. I can see he made a poor choice, but then, that happens, too.
I'm not sure if you should wait for him. Maybe be his friend, if that's fine for you. If I'm right about the adventures, he might someday get tired of them, or then he may not. I don't think you should simply wait and hope that things will go right.
Please remember that this is only a possibility.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): It sounds to me as if this guy is shoring up his eqo for one going after younger women....he may need to do this for awhile in order build his confidence back up after his failed marriage, and this is pretty common with most divorced men. The fact that he is looking for a long distance fling, tells me that he does not want the relationship, just the sex.
If you like him, and you feel like waiting on him to come around, I would just continue to be his friend, and let trust and relationship grow at it's own pace....give him some hints you care more for him than a friend and that you find him desirable, and maybe he will warm up to the idea....let him feel like he has to win you over, too, men like the chase.
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