A
female
age
41-50,
*nwilling2except the truth
writes:Dear All, I want to break up with my BF and I am 38 weeks pregnant with his first child. Every time I get up the nerve to and even actually do it. He finds some kind of way to make me feel guilty about my decision. We never spend time together, he is never here and we never go out. He will come in after 12mid and leave in the morning or sometimes don't come in or call at all. I don't hear from him again until he decides to come in or call. No this isn't something that just started while I was pregnant. It has been going on for the past year and a half. I want to believe that things are going to get better. He claims that I did him wrong for almost a year and half by lying and cheating on him while we were broke up and that is why he is acting in this manner. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): If this will help you at all, I'd be glad to share with you my experience. My boyfriend got me pregnant and when I was about into my 6th month and I didn't see any affection from him nor any indication that he'll take part in the child rearing experience, I wrote him a goodbye letter and told him not to contact me or anything. After our daughter was born,I kept to my decision not to connect with him and moved on. I had since then got married to a wonderful man who helped me raise my daughter.
Many years later, my daughter's dad found us and now wants to reconnect with my daughter. He's also married and more matured now, and although it was difficult for me first, I did not stop him from seeing my daughter who's now in her teens.
Sometimes we have to make a huge choice of either waiting for someone to love us back or just moving on and looking for the love we deserve. I'm glad I made the choice of moving on and finding real love in my husband.
Think of your child and how it will be unfair for the child to grow up in a loveless relationship. It's never easy, but love yourself first and you'll be able to share that love with your baby as well.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (25 November 2008):
 If you two are no longer compatible, you're no longer compatible. You are carrying his baby and for that you deserve more respect and kindness than it sounds like he is showing you...regardless of what you and he have done or not done in the past. If you don't feel you can reconcile with him, don't let him guilt you into second-guessing your decision to leave him. But please be as diplomatic about it as you can. Being pregnant with his child does not obligate you to stay with him, but it does obligate you as a responsible parent to try and maintain good terms with him if you do break things off, so that the child you have together can grow up with both parents in his/her life.
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