A
female
age
30-35,
*umor08
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I got pregnant within the first month of being with him. During the pregnancy things were going good between me and him. After the baby was born we started getting distant from each other. I know that babies change the way relationships are, but this is far worse than what is expected. I haven't been able to lose the "baby" weight as fast as I would like, and it bothers him. He said he is not attracted to me anymore because of the extra weight. He also said that he is not in love with me anymore. He said that he loves me and wants to be with me, but he is not in love with me anymore. He said that he is working on being in love with me again, but how do you work on being in love? I am trying to work on the things we have discussed, but I am at a lost on what to do now. I love him more than anything and I want to be with him, but I know that I can't force him to fall back in love with me. Am I worrying over nothing? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): no you can't "work at being in love with someone". Either you are or you aren't in love with someone.
Being in love with someone isn't the same as being committed to someone. The latter is a decision you choose to do. But being in love is a feeling.
it's great to be committed to someone, but without the feeling of attraction it's a platonic or familial type of love. You have to decide if this is enough for you.
A
male
reader, punksavage  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 I totally agree with S.V.C. if you love someone it should be unconditional not totally lost over some gained weight. i wouldnt care if my girlfriend gained a 100 lbs i would be woriied about her health but i would still love her as much as i do right now.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 December 2011):
 Are you the same woman that posted about how to get this man to marry you?
He's putting conditions on being IN LOVE with you isn't he?
lose the weight and I'll find you attractive again... sorry that's BS espeically as you just had a baby a few months ago....
why do you love him? seriously... what about him exactly now at this moment do you love?
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