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He lied about going to a strip club & getting a dance

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband went on a stag weekend and promised he would not be unfaithful or go to a lap dancer. He came home looked me in the eye and swore to me he did not do either, a few weeks later he slipped up and i got the truthe he had been to a club but swore he did not get a dance. Then i found out he paid someone to dance for him. He said he wanted someone to be sexy for him and he paid for what he wasnt getting at home. Although i do anything he wants and our sex life is fantastic. He lied about this could he be lying about sleeping with someone. I am gutted he paid a neked woman to be near him. Help.

View related questions: lapdance, sex life, stag

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A male reader, shriever24 United States +, writes (24 December 2010):

That's just bs. Ok yes, stag weekends are supposed to be fun time away from the home. But if he lied, he's a coward. It would've been much easier to sit down and tell you. Yes, you would have freaked out anyway but at least you'd maintain the trust level.

His mistake was not doing a good enough job of maintaining the lie. That's just stupid. His mistake was not telling you about it afterwards. I'm sure he was intimidated by the consequences of having you freak out but 1) now it's worse and 2) you're married for Pete's sake!

He should take you to a strip club so you can see it for yourself =)

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (3 July 2009):

baddogbj agony auntHe was going on a stag weekend and the purpose is to be a bit naughty and do stuff that you wouldn't do every weekend. You put him in a tough position. If the whole crowd was going to a lap-dancing place then was he meant to alienate himself by taking a moral stance and waiting outside and once inside was he meant to sit and do Soduku puzzles? This is just what guys do on stag weekends and generally speaking people push the envelope a little bit but they don't cross the line. When a group of guys goes to a lap dancing place together it seriously is not about getting turned on its about having a laugh. If he was sneaking off to lap dancing places on his own well then that could well be a problem.

He lied because he didn't want you to be unhappy. His mistake was to not do a good enough job of maintaining the lie. The somewhat bitter comment that you quote him as saying was almost certainly not what he was thinking at the time but only a way at getting back at you at the moment that you were probably shouting at him and giving him a hard time.

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