A
female
age
30-35,
*ecklessmess
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly two years now. Today I came home and was going through our old cell phones so I could clean up our desk. I came across one, that belonged to him, I was erasing contacts, pics, videos and whatnot.... Well I noticed he had an album that had naked pics and videos of his EX. She was mausterbating and saying his name repeadly. All of our other phones were dead, this one had a full battery. I am extreamly hurt that he would not delete them, I fear he has feelings for her?? He does not know that I know about the pictures and videos....what should I do? Cupid help me, im a reckless mess!!!!!
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male
reader, Ashley0112358  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Relax and take a step back before making assumptions.1. Talk to him, don't make accusations just simply ask if you can throw the phone away, as its his property.2. If you feel that insecure about it ask him if he was keeping the pictures, if its not his current phone (which it isn't as you said old phones) then he may have simply forgotten the pictures and videos were on there. I know the battery issue may make you wary, but hey old phones had better battery life, if its been sitting there idle or off, the battery could of lasted a while.3. You said you were extremely hurt that he would not delete them, does that mean you have asked him to? Otherwise as stated above, it may of been a case of forgetting to do so, especially if has had a new phone since meeting you.4. If you are worried he has feelings for her, you will need to speak to him, as the only person able to answer that will be him.DO NOT... do as fred the frog said, you should not go through his PC files as that is a breach of his trust. How would you like him rumbling through your files with the hope of finding something incriminating, which most likely wont be there, if you go through his files and find nothing, you'll feel guilt not relief.DO... as fred the frog said and talk, its the most vital thing in any relationship, discuss it with him.I know this is from a male perspective, but i have been in similar situations in the past. This is the way i'd handle it.I would get his current phone, and load them up with pictures of myself (naked, teasing fun)If unable to get his phone take them on yours and bluetooth them over when you get the chance.Then when you approach him on the topic of pictures of his ex simply say,"look, i was clearing our old phones, and came across these pictures of your ex. If you dont mind i would like to delete them all, but... dont worry, i'm replacing them with these."Then show him the pictures you have taken for him.This way you are approaching it in a fun friendly manner that will avoid tension, he will have to allow you to delete the photos as you asked in a nice way, instead of ordering him to do so. Plus as you will be the one deleting them you will have no worries that he hasn't got rid of themIf you think it would make it easier offer him a picture of you for every picture of her you delete.Its showing your dominance, that he is with you now not her, you are erasing her in all senses of the word, and replacing her every step along the way.Just please please please dont stress. there is no need to be a reckless mess, as its most likely all just a case of forgotten pictures. The last thing you want is to be disrespectful and search though his other files, as it will only lead to you feeling guilty.You know its not the right thing to do, and you know you should trust him.Best of luck with it
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): Pictures on an old phone.. Not so weird. The fact that it was fully charged.. DUMP HIM!! He obviously still watches them. Absolutely unacceptable. I wouldn't even bother talking to him. This is far beyond disrespectful, and he would lose absolutely all of my trust. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Fredthefrog +, writes (24 May 2012):
Ok, so you should probably say something to him about this and take it from there!!!!! If he does have feelings try to talk to him about it and if you want to end it then that is just the way things go!!! If he doesnt say he has feelings then don't take his word for him unless you know he is very honest, then say "if you don't have feelings for her then delete this now!!" also check any of his pc files if you can access them!! Good luck!!
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