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female
,
anonymous
writes: I texted my ex last night that I don't want to be with him (we were thinking of dating again). He texted me back saying he loves me but respects my decision. Then, he called me so many times and left a message saying goodnight baby and how he loves me. Then he texted me again saying it was okay to be confused. But in reality, I was only confused when I considered dating him again, actually, I was miserable, not confused. Anyway, on Monday (when we were considering dating) I made the mistake of texting him and saying that I loved him and since I could't get over him either we were stuck together. Well, now he is quoting what I said and thinks I'm just trying to piss him off. But, I told him that even though I may love him, I won't let myself love someone who disrespects me (that's a whole other issue). I told him to forget what I said. Then he said if I don't want someone that loves me then I should go and do whatever. He also said that as much as he loves me I will lose him forever if I don't be with him now-but I don't feel like he's changed in the 2 months that we were broken up. For a recap, I broke up with him many times because he was emotionally abusive but kept going back because he would make me feel guilty saying things like I'll never find anyone else who will love me like him and many other manipulations. I finally broke up with him for good 2 months ago and since I said I would consider dating him on Sunday and then changed my mind last night he got really mad. I feel like he is threatening me and blaming me for something he is responsible for-he didn't treat me with respect! He denies that and said he did but that I just didn't see it. Well, duh I didn't see it! It's because he never showed it! And when I hoped that he changed on Sunday, I realized once again he hadn't changed because he was once again pressuring me to smoke and drink and when I resisted he said I was just making a big deal out of little things. Then, when I told him how I felt on the phone he said he only wanted to talk about nice things so I couldn't explain anything to him. Basically, my question is, what do I do? In the back of my mind I have this hope that he will change and we will be together. I don't want to ruin it once and for all. But, shouldn't he be treating me with respect if he wants me so bad? Is he really worth it? Or, should I just "lose him forever" as he said? Isn't it the other way around? Didn't he lose me forever? What do I do? He is so demanding that I should go snowbiking with him on Saturday if not as a couple at least as friends. But can I trust him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess also I wanted to know if we would have had a chance in the future if I hadn't broken up with him so many times (if I just would have ended it once). Did I ruin any chance we have together in the future?
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female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Walk away from him sweetie. He has gained power since been in this relationship with you by intimadating you to do what he wants and when you dont want to he makes you feel bad.
Really notthe sort of relationship you need. I think that you wil find the threats of losing him forever are just what they are threats.
Tell him yu appriciate the offer but you would rather just move on with your life. Yes you may have had good times and etc but you just need to be in a relationship with yourself atthe moment. Leave it at that. I think you will find that he will always come running to you.
Good luck
Peaches83
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): You don't mention your age so I'm going to assume you are 14 or 15 yrs old. QUIT PLAYING GAMES! If you don't want to date him then don't chat on the phone and don't agree to meet as friends(snowboarding or whatever). 99% of ex's can't ever be just friends and the very few who can need a LONG time to pass between the breakup and the hanging out as friends (at least a year and normally much longer).
If you want to be in a relationship with him then do so. If not then say goodbye. This riding the fence business is nonsense.
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