A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A business colleague and myself developed a deep friendship where the attraction was very evident. I am married and he is single. However none of us acted on it. We would spend hours talking about our lives and business. At some point I realised that I was perhaps leading him on and really was not going to leave my marriage for him. I also noticed that he would behave in a weird fashion and also took our business relationship for granted Recently he overstepped his boundaries and quoted me incorrectly on an important business issue withour consulting me. I was outraged and cut off all communication with him as I believe he betrayed my trust. He has since left me three messages apologizing and asking for forgiveness and said it was unintentional. I have not spoken to him in a month and our business relationship continues through other colleagues.I feel as if I have lost my best friend but also do not want to reconcile. Your thoughts.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 My thoughts on the verifying the story issue is simple. He messed up and assumed he was correct. People do that sometimes, especially if they think they know you well enough.
I think he was too close and didn't realize it until afterward.
People do that in every kind of business where there's little personal contact, much less more personal contact than business.
It happens. We can all put suits on, but deep down, we're still humans. We're not machines.
Should he have verified? Yes. Did he? No. Does it mean he intended to betray you? Probably not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Leading peopepl on is just wrong on so many levels. Maybe he misquoted you by mistake, you lead him on on purpose. Who's got the right to be angry here?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response and good advice. When he has called the office I did speak with him briefly but feel that I should not be the one to initiate communication. You are also right it was not what was said but how he did not verfify the story before quoting me. Your thoughts?
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (24 September 2009):
First of all it seems here that you feel he betrayed you. But it also appears that maybe he misquoted you by mistake. In either event, even if you don't want to reconcile with him, the least you can do is accept his apology and move on.
I don't know what kind of damage was done by misquoting you, but it appears that its not so much the information, as what you perceive as betrayal.
Naturally you don't have to continue being friends with him. That's up to you. But its evident that he's as hurt over this as you are.
At the very least, bury the hatchet and move on if that's what you want to do. But leaving it bitter like this over what may have been a mistake in communications isn't necessarily the right thing to do professionally.
As far as him acting weird may have been the result of you leading him on. Mixed signals are going to create miscommunications which lead to weird behavior. And that's probably the result of him feeling awkward around you.
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