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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok..i've been talking to an old classmate of mine online for months now..We really like getting to know each other..He recently sent me a message saying he was in town to see his family and friends and wanted to meet up with me for coffee..So he asked for my phone #,and he called me. We were both happy to talk on the phone finally and i thought our conversation was going well. He said he's trying to squeeze in seeing his family, friends and meeting up with me all in one day because he had to go to work back in his hometown the next day..So i told him to try and get to see his family first while he gets the chance..He asked me if i had any plans and i told him i didn't and that i'd be chillin at home.. So he said he'd give me a call later on that day, but i never heard from him..This was yesterday and i still haven't heard anything back..He's a nice guy, very family oriented and i figured maybe he got caught up or something..I always take things like this personally..I felt maybe he wasn't diggin me on the phone or something..I am a little shy and was a little nervous but i think i kept a good flow going..He made me laugh..Now i keep thinking i did something wrong. I'm thinking back to our conversation and i really think it went well..Should i take this personally? He told me he was happy to talk to me, so i dunno....
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (25 June 2008):
 I have to agree with Irish49, he's just a friend, no romantic intentions. I think you have built this up in your head to mean more than what it really is. He's catching up with his family and friends but I can see why you would feel hurt by it since you were looking at this from a romantic standpoint. It doesn't mean that he could care less, but it should put things in the right perspective for you so you don't feel rejected or angry with him. Plus, he doesn't live near you and I tend to think guys are less apt to form the kind of quick romantic attachments that women do online, long distance. Guys want in person relationships so unless you guys are going to be living near one another soon, I would focus on other guys locally that you can spend time with. It's also easier for people to say things over the computer where there is really no accountability than it is when you communicate and see each other often. Be careful of that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Oh Sweetie, just calm down. There could be a million reasons why he didn't call, and not one of them was you. Just keep in mind that at this point he considers you a friend, and friends tend to flake out on each other from time to time. Just keep a smile on your face, and a smile in your heart, and all things will work out. I pray that all goes well. God Bless!
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (25 June 2008):
 The guy is a friend...that's it. We don't know why he didn't call. The reason you are taking this so darned personally , is because you are a female who attains self-value by attaching emotionally to a male...far far too quickly. You are romanticizing this poor guy and you two aren't even out of the starting gate yet. If feelings of hopes and fantasies of love are tugging at your heartstrings for this guy, here...then it's time to ask yourself, why are you allowing this to happen? He's a friend, he likely had family commitments and couldn't get back to you. Guys do this sort of thing all the time. They don't engage their feelings so soon as females. So you have to quit assuming he is romanticizing you. It really sounds like he's taking it slow and keeping it all in perspective. This is something... females should learn from males.
Sooo...slow down, hun. Let this progress nice and easy. Although he promised to call you, something happened and he couldn't. Keep your wits about you, use your head, not your heart and shrug it off. Get out there and have fun with other people., friends...have a fun life without him there. He'll like that even more about you, believe me. You may be amazed..he might give you a call explaining what happened and you'll quickly realize how silly all this angst was. Good luck and be smart, hun.
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