A
female
age
36-40,
*nickers
writes:I have never been self concious before, but I have been having a problem with coping with a lot of issues in my sex life lately. I know that it is completely normal for a man to pretend like he is have having sex with another woman while he is actually doing the deed with me. It really bothers me knowing that he would think that because he has called me by her name once and I know who she is. First is that normal for me to feel that way, and if it is, how can I subside some of the feelings?
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ex girlfriend, sex life, sex with another Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jugurtha  +, writes (22 February 2008):
It may be completely normal but I think that stinks. Look, it's one thing when you've been in a relationship for years and you shut the lights out and pretend it's Angelina or Brad in bed with you for the night, it's quite another when you've not been together long, and/or are fantasising about someone you've actually been with.This fellow you're with is clearly not over his ex-girlfriend, and is treating you poorly. It's prefectly normal for you to feel down and upset about his behaviour, I'd be concerned if you weren't.When you're making love with someone, it's really important that that person is making love with you also, otherwise it's as though you don't really exist, not as a person at least.Don't allow this fellow to dehumanise you any further, either give him the flick or get him to treat you the way you would like to be treated.
A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (22 February 2008):
 It's not normal for a guy to think about other chicks when he's having sex with you. Where'd you get that idea from? Is it normal for girls to think about other guys when they're doing their man? I sure don't do that. I would feel pretty upset if my man called me by his ex's name. Its completely normal. Your man has some issues with his ex if he's still thinking about her during sex. You should discuss your concerns with him and tell him how much it bothered you.
When a man is with you, he's with you, not some movie star or an ex.
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