A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at church and we instantly fell in love. We talked for hours and we started dating and then a few months down the road he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes, we were so in love...everything was so right. Things were going great and then we started arguing about stupid things every now and then and I'll be honest I probably started allot of them. Then we started arguing all the time. Well needless to say he just started to not talk to me much and he wouldn't tell me what he was thinking or anything. Well the other day he broke up with me because he said he is so busy right now and we argue all the time and "he needs some time to figure stuff out". What does that mean? I told him I thought about it and said I was sorry for how things were going, and I forgot about how our relationship used to be. I really do love him with all my heart and I really do think he is the one for me. Sso what can I do to help get him back and let him know I am sincre?..without seeming to desperate?...
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male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (28 February 2008):
 Hi there,
It looks like you guys just were'nt suited to each other. You both were taken in by the initial rush of boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, but when things started to become familiar you ended up arguing all the time. This is never a good sign in the first year of a relationship, imagine what you would be like in 10 years.
Sorry, but you just have to accept that he came to the conclusion that love isnt about arguing with your partner all the time. Move on with your life, and you will meet someone more compatible .
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (28 February 2008):
 I think this means that your relationship moved forward so quickly from that "instant connection" to marriage. It is very easy for people to think they are perfect for one another in the first few months of dating when in reality, it takes a while to really get to know someone. When you base your whole future on seeing that person as perfect and perfect for you, it is understandable that when normal issues crop up, it alters your whole reality of the situation. I think that both of you need to take a step back and put the marriage thing on the backburner (for now) and concentrate on really getting to know one another slowly. This way, when arguments happen, they don't feel like they are a threat to your future which is what is happening right now. Wait at least a year until you start discussing getting engaged. I think if anything, approaching things this way will actually save your relationship. It may be hard to step back, not in the time spent with him but in the idea of getting married, but it's the only realistic way to build your future with him. Learn to communicate with each other and work through your difficulties so you will be in a position to have a strong marriage later!
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