A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy for around 4 months. We met online and i've been seeing him regualrly about 2/3 times a week, and he normally calls 2/3 tims per day. Up until the last three weeks.I've asked previously before whether his dating anyone else, his replied no, and I've asked him to be honest with me and I would prefer it if he wasn't. He never mentions any friends - infact I've never met any of his friends, his met mine - and I've been paranoid at times thinking he might be seeing someone else - even though not sure when as he calls me all the time. I did several weeks ago check his phone and he did have numerous text messages from another girl called kay - I never read them but this also raised suspision.His father fell critically ill three weeks ago, and he went home to be with him. His dad is dying. His rarely called- but does text every few days. I've communicated to him that I am there for him, offered to look after the cat etc and last night I offered to go down to see him. He refused this - and also he said a friend was looking after the cat - who came down to pick up his keys.... this sounded kind of strange....I'm not sure what his hiding - and I realise his going through an extremely difficult time but should I be suspisious? and should I challenge him on whose looking after the cat? Up till today I've tried to call him or text him nearly every day just to send messages of support. Should I back off?
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female
reader, CelticMyst  +, writes (16 February 2007):
Definitely back off - this guy is showing all the signs of cooling it. Don't contact him and see what happens - guys don't respond to words - they respond to no contact.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): I think you ought to check out his story. Is his dad really dying? My experience is usually your gut feelings are usually right, unless you have these issues with everyone you date, trust your feeling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): It probably is a good idea to back off at present. Who knows who "Kay" is - and if you hadn't been checking on his phone, you wouldn't be worrying about it now, you know! She could be an old friend he has known for many years.
Perhaps a neighbor is looking after his cat, or a guy friend. If his father is critically ill then this is a very difficult time for this man.
I'm sure he realizes you're "there" for him, and appreciates it, but now it would be better to sit back, enjoy your own life and activities and see how things turn out. Wait another two or three weeks before you try contacting him again.
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