A
female
age
41-50,
*ouby
writes:Hi, i am so nervous i feel sick.. i am meeting my ex tonight for 'a drink' We were only only togther for 3 months but it was very intense and moved quite quickly. thing is he wasn't ready after a painful break up but we ignored it and got very involved. The cracks started to show when I wanted more and asked for more of his time and more contact etc. we had a bust up on the phone and i was crying, the call ended abruptly and we haven't spoken sinceI have contacted him quite a bit since and he agreed to meet this evening .I 'sold' it to him that we can meet as friends and clear the air but i want more and now i am worried i have set myself up for more hurt ?part of me feels like canceeling but the other part of me wonders if we meet face to face will we be bale to sort things out and try again ?
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female
reader, Louby +, writes (4 February 2011):
Louby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advice and suggestions..
I went, it was awkward..just too soon and my feelings were still raw. I found it very hard not to get upset and we ended uo discussing stuff and he is just not over his ex and cannot give me what I want and deserve. He said he doesn't have the same strong feelings for me.
It was very emotional, we hugged and even kissed but I know in my heart it's over so I have to accept it and move on - so so hard :(
A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Be just that. His friend. Do NOT talk about getting back together if you want to be with him. That will push him away. Be fun and have a nice time. Do not put any pressure on him. This will take time. Just look beautiful and enjoy yourself, let him know you are happy to still be friends. Let things progress naturally and this time let him do most of the contacting. If he wants you he will. Do not call or text him after the meeting wait for him to contact you and just be nice. No "i miss you," or "i need you." Let him lead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): you are maybe short of opportunities. find someone who wants to be involved with you and stop wasting time.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2011):
If you are serious about wanting this to work, then tonight should be a drink and nothing else. What you had before was passionate and moved quickly - so you now need to take all this slowly and make sure you don't end up in bed or moving too quickly again.
So, if you want this, then make sure it's just a drink.
Whether you want this is another thing. I think, since there was no cheated or anything like that, it's probably worth at least going for the drink to see what is said. Perhaps something might come of it. Perhaps not. You'll never know unless you go though.
I would say go, but only have a drunk and nothing else, and make sure you don't set your sights too high in case he's not interested.
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