A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Have you ever dated a teacher? What happened? did it work out?Also, I heard that female students develop crushes on teachers because they resent their fathers? what do you think of that? Because the three student teacher relationships I can think of seem to fit perfectly into that description.All opinions welcome.Oh, I'm researching for a book if you're wondering. ^^
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I am quite obsessed with my teacher right now. I suppose a lot of it is more like lust rather than love. I've been falling for teachers and authoritative people lately, starting with my tutor. And you're right, I didn't realize it until now, but I was probably looking for a father figure in my life. My parents had a bad relationship, therefore my dad moved out when I was only about 2. He still talks to me, but it's hard to make conversation with a man you hardly spent any time of your life with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): I have never dated a teacher, but I have a thing for my college Prof- I'm 19 and he's (yelp!) 57... Any advice would be greatly appreciated; I'm a freshman (soon to be sophomore) and the teacher is the head of the Honors College at my school (which I happen to be a part of) so I don't see the academic/professional relationship coming to an end anytime soon...Honestly, I would be thrilled just to be pen/e-mail pals with him, but I'm not sure what would motivate someone of his age and education to take that sort of interest in someone SO much younger...On the Dad Stuff:I would like (nay- Love!) to agree with my fellow Morrissey fan about the role that "daddy-issues" play, but my father is an alcoholic, an abuser and I wish him the worst. I've always written my preference (because for me it's an established preference) for older men off as a by-product, not of resentment, but of the absence of any suitable father-figure in my life, which may (or may not) be a realistic and/or healthy way to view it. Good Luck on your book!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Well, I've never had a relationship with a teacher, but I have been in love with my history teacher for almost five years now. I suppose I was looking for a father figure, because my dad had passed away when I was two years old.
When we met, I was 14 whereas he was 42. I'd thought nothing of him when we first met. (A month before my freshman year, I went through a brutal break up with my first boyfriend) Then I got to know him and found out that we had many common interests. However, he was engaged (he met a woman through an online dating service she lived in China until April 2007) so he was off limits in three ways: 1.Being engaged to be married, 2.Being 28 years older than me, and 3.He was my teacher.
I felt like we were both much better people, much happier when it was just the two of us. I really enjoyed being around him, and he seemed to enjoy my company as well.
Well, long story short: I told him how I felt a year ago on August 21st. I sent him an e-mail, explaining my feelings for him. I told him I was only doing it for closure and that I expected nothing in return. He rejected me, apologizing that I thought his friendliness meant something more. It was a farewell letter.
It's several months later, and there's a reunion next month. I hope he'll be there, because no matter what, I'll always feel something for him. But I'm skeptical about going because I don't think he wants to see me.
I would leave if he asked me to, because I care about him. I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable. I respect his wishes, so that's why we don't talk anymore. I just want him to be happy, but that day back in August I just had to know.
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A
female
reader, swordandredrose  +, writes (15 May 2010):
I was in love with one of my teachers this year (I actually still like him). He is much older than me, I am 18 and he is 52. He is single and has no kids. I loved him (or still love him) to the point where I would do anything to be with him. He is not handsome or anything, I love him for his personality and his values. I have tried flirting with him and done anything that I could do just to show him that I like him more than a teacher. Unfortunately none of them worked. It doesn't even crosses his mind that I might be attracted to him. He looks at me as his daughter and that really bothers me. I thought he was single and he lived alone but recently I found out that he is not alone. That was when I tired to stop thinking about him. My attraction to this old man has nothing to do with my relationship with my own father. I have a great father and I love him. My father and him have nothing in common though. To be honest, I would gladly have a relationship with this man if he tells me that he wants me. I have no problem with what people think and I don't care if he is old enough to be my father.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): I fancy my teacher, but i know it is wrong to start a relationship with him as he is married with kids, and i wouldnt want him to lose his job, i love him alot but, i wouldnt do anything like that to him. and if i was too id wait till i was legal!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): I'm 18 just finishing my alevels and I've always fancied teachers but knew that they weren't attracted to their pupils, in someones wise words "you need to know that they are there to teach you not to marry you"
i suppose it depends on the age of the teacher and maritial status aswell I guess if they were 20 and newly qualified and dated someone who was 18 that wouldn't be that bad!
The Electra complex thing? I don't agree with Freud, in Morrisseys words "he just made people feel paranoid about their lives"
I dont think anyone over the age of 30 shouldn't want to sleep with someone who is barely legal, it's just wierd that they'd want to go out with someone with so much less experience in everything, especially sex.
I say it's wierd but I do fancy plenty of old guys - and if you're wondering, I don't have a good relationship with my father.
I'm 18 and have slept with a man who was 47, we both knew it was wrong but we clicked, I don't see him as an exception to the judgements I've made above, but they don't bother me necessarily, I have also slept with a teacher, if you want more details about that message me because I'd rather not put them on here.
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A
female
reader, Witchy +, writes (15 May 2010):
I have dated my teacher. I had sex with him while I was in high school (Bio teacher) and not for the grade or anything. I passed it off as lust and we did not see each other again over the summer. My senior year we got pretty serious but as it's like illegal (I'm sure) we told no one. We had date nights in Chicago and I stayed at his house a lot. It lasted about 8 months, but I broke it off as it had no future. I deffinitly don't think it had anything to do with my father. I love my daddy, but I'm sure he would have been a bit less than supportive if he'd known that was going on. I can see someone doing this for the "shock value" involved in respect to their parents. I think that my teacher and I shared physical attraction, plus we both liked Jeopardy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): I've never had a relationship with a teacher but I have certainly felt strong feelings for a man who was. I dont know why but the theory about resenting the father could be the reason for this as my father left when I was born.
Good luck with your research.
Or anything else...
x
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