A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusoholic
writes:I am in a bit of a dilemma. I erm end up feeling horny once in a while. I guess its a natural human urge. Earlier, i used to masturbate and feel fine...but now i feel like i want a man in my life. I feel lonely. I don't know why, but this need for intimacy has led me to get involved with a friend...we are not in love, we just make out when we are together, he is great in bed, but i don't love him and hence even when we are getting frisky, i feel like something is missing. Like its wrong. There's this part of me which wants someone around...but i think its not a good idea to be with someone just because you are lonely.Has anyone been in a situation where sometimes the need to be with someone is too strong an overcomes their better judgement? How can i control my urges (emotional/physical)..i want to wait but sometimes my need just gets the better of my brain.
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (19 August 2012):
 Well, yes. In my case, at age 64, I've done that many times. Even recently. It is, in my opinion, so much better to be in love, get married, have a lifetime partner and all that. Hard to do these days, but not impossible.
If you can find a true and faithful love, then bless you. Or better stated, you will have been blessed. Cherish that. Yet, since my adulthood began in the 1960s, there were many times that needed pleasures, and desires, were satisfied more by convenience or opportunity than in a serious relationship.
In my experiences, there was always attraction for the women involved, or I would not have been there. There was, in my mind, some possibility for more than just some sex. But that usually did not work out.
Relationship of a long term requires a lot of things. Compatibility, compassion, care, need, common ideology and wants in life, ideals and more. So many things. But those things are elusive to pair up. In the meantime, since at least I've been alive and adult, there are some who come and go. Maybe thats not the ideal, but it happens.
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