A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just made a total fool of myself. I wanted to play it cool with a guy I was really starting to like and I just blurted out that I wanted to get to know him better and he actually responded that he felt sorry for me! I was so shocked that I asked if that was true and he started going on about how 99.99% of his past relationships failed because he spends too much time doing his hobby and doesn't call. What? I wasn't asking him to be my boyfriend! Anyway, it was like he was angry with me for even suggesting we get to know each other better, and in turn that made me feel rejected and angry too. I am dismayed. I don't even know what to think now. What happened? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): It's an odd sort of low self esteem he's showing. It sounds like he picked a very insensitive way to say the typical "its not you its me" reason for turning you down.
He may really mean it in the best way to tell you the truth. I sort of identify with it. I have turned girls down in nicer ways for the same reason. Its not that I dont respect the girl but I care about her. I know she likes me, I think she would probably like me even more pretty fast, and I'm scared I would be bad for her.
A
male
reader, Jason means Healer  +, writes (25 March 2009):
Eh, he's a pig; and a selfish one too (with his HOBBY).
Why, of all the condescending whew!
You should have said "well, don't expect me to be eternally grateful because I illicited your sympathy!"
Or, is he mistakingly refering to empathy?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's good advice. I'm still wondering though, why would a guy be angry with me for wanting to get to know him better?
My guess it's nothing to do with me and everything to do with whatever baggage he has that I don't know about.
Still, I have never had anyone respond with such anger before and it hurts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): sounds like he's not really worth your time or effort to be honest.
he's responce should have been i'd love to get to know you more!
if i were you i'd probably be looking for someone who would put me before there hobby....just my opinion though.
good luck
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