A
female
age
51-59,
*inasummer@msn.com
writes:I have a younger sister who is in a very abusive relationship. Eleven months ago she had a baby by this person. A few months ago they broke up and eventually, he wormed his way back into her life.She just found out (by a doctor) that she has herpes and that she is again pregnant. Two days ago, she found the same kind of sores that she has on her babies genital area and is sure it too is herpes. If this is true does this mean that the father has been molesting the baby? For several months we have noticed that the baby holds her legs together anytime we take her diaper off to clean her.Also, what is the doctors responsibility to the baby if this is diagnosed? Does he have to contact the authorities like Cps? Child protective service?
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female
reader, texas_gal +, writes (3 February 2010):
It has been a while since this Q was posted but I have to respond. There are many possibilities here. The best way of dealing with them is to gather FACTS.
All three people can be tested to see if they indeed do have herpes and if so, if they are of the same strain. The mom could have given it to the baby unwittingly.
You mentioned a change in the baby's behavior when having her diaper changed. Have there been any other changes in behavior or personality? Fear or anxiety or avoidance around the father? Is she keeping up with her developmental milestones? Has there been any regression in behavior--milestones achieved and then lost? She may not be there yet, but watch for problems around toilet training. Any inappropriate behavior on her part? Any sexual knowledge which is not age-appropriate? Does her play show any signs of re-enacting any abuse?
The baby needs to be evaluated by a pediatrician or family practitioner. And, yes, in the U. S. they are bound to report if abuse is indeed suspected. This doesn't mean they will automatically take the baby away from your sister. They will let the FACTS lead them
A
female
reader, [email address blocked] +, writes (26 September 2009):
[email address blocked] is verified as being by the original poster of the question No I do not know for sure that the baby has herpes. I know that what she does have looks just like what my sister has. My sister was just diagnosed so we know this for sure. She has not taken the baby to see a doctor as of yet because she is afraid that if Child Protective services is called into it then they will do an investigation and because she has had some runins with the law herself they may take the baby from her. I agree that this needs to be handled now.
Also, she did not have this eleven months ago when she gave birth. I was only recently that she was infected.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): This account needs to be disabled, simply because of the username. OP make a new username without any contact details in it.
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A
female
reader, Roadster73  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 If I were u, I would strongly advise your sister to take the baby to the doctors, the doctor is the only person medically trained to see what the rash is? At the end of the day if it's nothing then u can all carry in normally and forgry about it, but u owe it to your niece to be her voice & get it checked out please!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): How did you come to the conclusion that the father might be molesting the child when it's the mother who has herpes?
Also how do you come to the conclusion that the childs sores are herpes?
I'm sorry but you're jumping to a hell of a lot of conclusions about your sisters baby.
She must have already brought her baby to the doctor if she found those sores two days ago that's what any normal parent would have done.
Just ask your sister what the doctor said those sores were.
Until then there's no point in talking about herpes or advising you on that, there's also no point in even thinking that about molestation because you have absolutely no reason to believe that and are finding false signs out of nothing.
It could be a case of severe nappy rash, ealry sings of exzema, there are lots of possibilities.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 September 2009):
A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009):
Oh, but this does not mean anything... If she has herpes, it could have been passed on to the baby during birth... This does not necessarily mean the father was molesting his child.
THIS IS TRUE
If the mother has Herpes while giving birth there is a VERY high risk of the child getting it too. She might not have known that she had the herpes before the birth.
STILL they BOTH ( mother and child) need to be treated medically for it. If your sister have any doubts as far as molesting she needs to tell the doctor that as well.
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A
female
reader, cemoi +, writes (25 September 2009):
This is heart breaking to read. I think that you and your sister should take the child to the doctor (she will need your support if the news is bad, and even if it's good, its scary to even think this). Let teh doctor diagnose the situation and stop speculating. Then work with real infomation.
Guessing will only make you anxious and afraid.
good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): This needs to be reported to a Dr. straight away. I think that if the doc thinks the child is being abused thy can alert the authorities. If that's what has happened this man needs to be stopped asap. Who's to know he isn't doing it to other children. Take the baby to the doctor and tell him what you have said here. Not a moment to lose.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (25 September 2009):
If that baby has been given and STD you, yourself should be contacting the authorities and yes a doctor will have to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Oh, but this does not mean anything... If she has herpes, it could have been passed on to the baby during birth... This does not necessarily mean the father was molesting his child.
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