A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi ive been with my partner for over two years and we are now engaged problem is i have a security issue. My partner tells me im the only one for him but sometimes i dont feel like it. Before he propsed to me he told his mate the reason why he was proposing was i was so insecure and maybe this will help me know that im the only one. i feel sick that that could be he only reason he proposed. strangly he doesnt look at porn his mates always makes comments on girls and he never replies to it he doesnt check girls out... could this all be for show as if he doesnt do any of that i dont believe it. he also has stopped the affectionate sides nerver tells me how i look or wants to cuddle could he be gettng bored or am i just looking into it to much and when it comes to our sex life he says he is too lazy i have to do all the work please help me i want him to get back on track. I find he is growing bored or cant be bothered with making effort cause he already has me...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Why would you want to spend the rest of your life miserable with a guy like that? Marriage isn't going to make things better; it makes things worse. If he's lost interest, you need to move on because that's not how it's supposed to be. Definitely break up with him, and then work on your own issues before you get involved with anyone else. You CAN do better than him, and maybe you need to feel secure with yourself before you can be secure with someone else...
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Call me old-fashioned but when you get engaged it's for love. Sorry to say but your relationship is at the end of the road. There's so many red flags here I don't even know where to start...The first and biggest one is he proposed to you so you won't think he's cheating on you, let's get real here that is a ridiculous reason to get married. Next, not all guys are into porn, for some it's cheesy or has no affect. Third, he's stopped the affection is that including all hand-holding, he doesn't kiss you anymore, no I love you, nothing? On a side note, he doesn't compliment you on your look guys sometimes need for you to drop a hint, they don't keep track of how many compliments they give us, so that one you're looking into too much. Lastly, the whole "I'm too lazy to have sex" is a crock of crap guys want sex it's on their mind every 2 minutes (I forgot the statistics) for him to tell you to do all the work then he's not even participating in sex much less this relationship! Hate to break it to you but you're not going to be able to get his guy back on the right track. Take this as your cue to break off the engagement, and don't look back.
P.S. My husband read your story and says you need to break off this engagement there's no sense in being engaged much less married to someone like that. There's someone for everyone but this isn't your someone.
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A
female
reader, michelle_louise88  +, writes (23 August 2010):
I had the same problem with my boyfriend. I was always insecure and he kept reassuring me, but i still found out that wasn't enough. After a while, I started thinking to myself, maybe I'm pushing him away with my insecurities and I was. What I suggest to you, is start believing your boyfriend when he says he only wants you and loves you. As I said above, I was exactly like that and after I spoke to him and told him I was being silly, we got on much better and were passionate again. Good luck :)
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