A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. And I already know that I am in love with him, but I am afraid to tell him.. I've always thought that the man should tell his girlfriend first.But I really do think he loves me back, you know just the way he looks at me, and it's almost that he wants to say it but then is scared too.He's had trouble with both of his ex's they weren't ready for what he was offering so they broke up with him, they wanted to experience what was out there before getting tied down (which is good for me or I wouldn't be with him) so what I think is happening is that he is waiting until he is sure that I'm not going to leave him because I am not "ready" before he tells me he loves me, but I don't know when that will be...So I guess my question. Has any women told there significant other that they loved them first? And how did they do it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Why the big rush? I dated my current fellow for 18 months, before we went ahead with the "I love you's". We built the relationship slowly, acquired a good, clear understanding of each other, learned about each other's lives, families, each other's values and we built up the respect and trust. I think you may be right. He may taking some precautions with the use of the word 'love'. However, if he is not saying it, it doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. But...he may be feeling this is something he doesn't want to rush headlong in to, in light of the issues he experienced with his exes. There is nothing wrong with what he's doing. He could be still in the phase of 'building trust'. Just carry on in this relationship and keep building on those wonderful feelings and allow it to grown, develop and in time, it will come. Good luck, stay positive and happy. It will happen when it happens...but understand, you need to focus on the fun you two are experiencing and the awesome feelings you are creating to getting to that "I love you' stage. Be patient..
A
female
reader, Fluro Girl  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 No, you shouldn't wait for him to say it first.
Because he might be waiting for you to say it and you could spend the rest of your relationship with him not knowing for sure if he really does love you.
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A
female
reader, monalisa_p  +, writes (3 October 2008):
Yes! I have actually. It does not harm in anyway. This way the boy is more confident about his love towards you and knows that even if he says it he will not be rejected..
So go ahead and tell him.....
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A
female
reader, SuziQ  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 Im bit older than u (28 actually) but know where you are coming from.
I have been with my bf for 5 months now aswell ( he is 6 yrs younger than me btw) but I knew not long in2 our relationship how I felt aout him.
I was scared 2 tell him how I felt coz of his age n thought he would run a mile.
Try by telling him that "u think u r falling for him".
Its not quite as over bearing as saying you love him but he'll know wot u mean.
Good luck n let me know how u get on x
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (3 October 2008):
 Its not up to one person to say "I Love You" first, if you love him then you should tell him, especially after what you said about his past. He might be scarred the same thing will happen again.
Just tell him after you've made love or something.
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