A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do i always want what i cant have? Whenever i have had a bf, i always get bored of them easily and see their faults and become interested in someone else. What can i do to overcome this?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): I know exactly how you feel! Sort of anyway... I become very close with and attached to the guys I date... I'm only 22 but have had a 3 year relationship, and the shortest one I've ever had was nine months. I always agonize over whether I'm being too harsh/judgmental or whether it just isn't "meant to be..." I do believe there is more than one person out there for everyone, at different times in their lives. Maybe it's really naieve, but I like to believe there is trul one person out there that will be an even better match for you than you could ever realize, and this is the person to spend your life with; it won't always be perfect, of course there will be conflict (after all, this is life), but you will never lose that feeling of loving one another and truly wanting to be together... I think just being honest about what you want, or trying to figure out what you want, is the best place to start... go from there, don't stay with anyone because you're too afraid of being alone, don't stay with someone if it's not working but you really want to make it work/pretend it's working... I've done both of these things already, and I feel like I know what I want... my problem isn't me liking someone (b/c he likes me back), it's his best friend/my ex... sigh. Good luck, never be afraid of how you feel or regret your decisions!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): You're young. Maybe you're not prepared for a long-term relationship, or maybe you haven't met somebody to match your requirements. Love involved, is usually enough of an ingredient to appreciate the gift of companionship at young age. Later responsibilities appear and problems that accumulated can have an impact on the intensity of the feelings. Maybe you simply take people for granted after a while and that bores you, while others try to conquer that person's heart every day. Maybe in time you have discovered at your partner aspects initially hidden that pushed you aside. The solution is either being more selective, either... making efforts to "REnew" the relationship, with every opportunity. Go places, do more things in common, shopping, taking walks, discuss what you like, and don't expect the other to do all these while you don't make any effort to help repainting the landscape... then it will even be interesting to look back at what you've done together...
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A
female
reader, AntoniaLynn  +, writes (26 June 2007):
I went through a phase of that as well. I think the biggest thing to think about is why are you in a relationship with the person you are. Is it because you "want" a bf or "need" a bf? Can you see yourself with the person you are dating long term. If not ask yourself what you are looking to get out of the relationship from the start. Maybe stay single for a while and just casually date, even different types of guys. I decided one day that I wasn't going to be in a relationship with someone until they gave me a reason to be in one with them, and when I found the great guy I am with now I wasn't looking for a relationship and he made me realize that I did...with him. Hope I was a little help! Good Luck!
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