A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bestfriend and I have been bestfriends for over a year now. When we first became best friends we were both good girls, good grades, inexperienced sexually. We've definitely grown since though. I have a steady, loving boyfriend. She's always competed with me in the past and still does it now. Every time my boyfriend and I tried something new sexually, she'd do that thing with a random boy. Recently she started dating a boy after knowing him four days, she's trying to pass the relationship off to me as a happy relationship. She has become boy crazy, everytime i confront her about it she blows it off. I would just like some advice in general on what i should do to help her and our friendship. Our friendship is very important to me and I really just want her to be truly happy. I don't believe she is. Thanks to all who help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell to anonymous reader:She has specifically stated before that she's in love with a guy she met one night and on that night made out and gave him head, then tried to pursue a relationship with him when he lives 5 and a half hours away. I was supportive of trying the long distance thing,since i too have a boyfriend that lives an hour away and like i have said previously we're extremely happy together. But when they planned for him to see her again he shut off all communication. She was unbelievably heartbroken and I had to watch my best friend suffer like that, I knew I never wanted that to happen again. She tells me she's still in love with that guy and just kinda likes her current boyfriend. Before her current relationship began she said "I can't wait to start dating this guy so that "Jeff" (the replacement name for the 5 hours away boy) will see that I'm on a relationship on facebook and get jealous." In all honesty I doubt that he even looks at him anymore. She met her current boyfriend's parents and had dinner with them and stuff and she smoked weed with the entire family. I honestly doubt this is a happy fulfilling relationship. I'm ashamed in myself as far as how concerned i've been. I should have tried to do something the beginning of last summer when she began this destructive pattern with boys. She had an eating disorder before all of this started but has recovered for the time being and i think this new boy craziness may be some type of replacement for the disorder. I'm just very lost. I've tried talking to her like you stated but she doesn't seem to think it's a problem even though she's told me after her random hook ups that she feels "like a whore" and "why do i keep doing this?" and things like that.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Why don't you try talking to her.
find out why she is acting like this and make sure she knows that she doesn't have to compete with you.
i mean she may be very very jealous of you which from where i am seems that way i mean she clearly isn't happy with herself she's trying too hard to be you copying you pretending that she's in a happy relationship like you when she's really not.
i mean your her friend so surely she can tlk to you.
you just need to sit her down and find out what's really going on because she shouldn't feel the need to compete with you or try to be you.
she's her own person and you know that but she seems to think that it's better to be someone else rather than herself.
Hope this helps.
message me if you need anymore help.
x
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