A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my 'bf' broke up a while ago however we still remain very close and hang out a lot. he still calls me baby or babe or mami etc all the time if we are out at the store he will lovingly graze my a$$ or grab me in some way... but in private he says we are over...recently i was with him at his job helping him out and his boss was looking for another employee... he said oh well my GIRLFRIEND might be able to help us... he has also called me his girlfriend or his lady or his girl to his friends... i was at his house and he told his family we are 'just friends' but why to everyone else that is important to him am i still his girlfriend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question::sighs:: well i go back and forth with the 'we are meant to be' sometimes he can be so cold to me its like being in the artic. last night i went and visted him because he is leaving to another state -side note he invited me to go with but i declined-. he says only for 2weeks cuz he's sure he's not going to like it over there. but my worry is what if he does like it and decides to stay. anyways i went and everything was ok until he dropped that bomb on me. so i retracted and stopped talking, i ignored him in everyway only nodding my head when he tried to talk or ask me a question (childish i know but im hurting and i knew if i spoke i'd cry) he ended up holding my hand and just trying to comfort me, i slept over and he held me all night which is something i definiately missed all these month. we woke up today and i know he had read thru all my txt msgs where i was telling my friends how sad i am and that he's leaving me along w/ other responsibilites he woke up just staring at me w/ sad eyes... he kept trying to talk to me w/ small talk but i wouldnt answer. it feels horrible to ignore him but i feel so empty its not funny. i did end up calling him when i got to work and we did talk for a while. he promised its only for 2weeks because he is positive he wont like it there, its only because he needs to make this money. idk what to do or think anymore...
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (7 December 2010):
 I can't you tell as a woman who has been where you are that I haven't felt as you feel. I would be lying! With that being said, I would have to admit you have won my heart! I have listened, I have waited for you to reply, and must admit I too had that "womans intuition" And GUESS WHAT? I was right! So...I heard ever word you said! I smiled...When you wrote back! And it's like a love story unfolding right before my eyes! I can't and won't tell you it CAN't work! Keep me updated. You do know I will tell you how I HONESTLY feel right? I'm smiling hoping this works for you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i do correct him. we have been using 'pet names' for so long i know its a hard habit to break. however, i catch myself from calling him baby to using his frist name instead. if he tries to kiss me or hold me or hvae anything sexual i say HEY arent we just friends... yes im being silly with it all cuz i still want to be his lady. but i realize if i let him continue w/ this ill never be his lady. anyways i have separated myself i dont call/txt him daily anymore. unless of course it's needed... he does repair my car and stuff like that so thats really the only reason i call now. seeing as he has my car in his care for now until it is fixed. i have gone to his family's house though when he isnt there just to hang out with his sister and stuff. i dont know. i guess i was just confused as to why suddenly i was back to being his gf even though if i approach the subject its usually met with an answer consisting of... stop nothing has changed. ::sighs:: also i have that womans intuition that we will be back together.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (3 December 2010):
OK.So..You're saying you're going to "STAY SINGLE" REGARDLESS to what he says. And NOW...He calls you HIS LADY,Huh? Does that make you SINGLE? NO. That make you HIS... LADY Because you have NOT stopped him from putting a LABEL on YOU! You have to stop allowing him to control your say-so in this relationship.And from what I see, you don't see it as a problem, BUT IT IS A PROBLEM! ijs!And I think it's GREAT that he doesn't take other girls over to his families home! KUDOS TO HIM!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'd stay signle regardless of what he said. the thing is before when we frist broke up he made it clear to everyone i wasnt his gf anymore he'd call me by my first name instead of saying im with my lady. now he tells his friends he'll see them later cuz he's with his lady ... i know his family very well and i know there isnt another girl. its only me. he doesnt bring GF's around his family. i'm the 2nd one thats met his family.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (30 November 2010):
He does that in public, so that you will STAY single!!! He doesn't want to mislead his family, because he's probably bring other girls around them. And my advice to you would be to ask him to stop confusing you, I wouldn't ask for the label of "THE GIRLFRIEND" I'll take the JUST FRIEND label, so that you can move on. He play too much!!!And need to grow up, and BTW..stop him from disrespecting your body like that,by grabbing you in public!!! NO WOMAN DESERVE THAT! ijs.
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