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Girlfriend decided on a break and slept with her first love and lied about it, now we're back together...

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2010)
A male New Zealand age 36-40, *ritch writes:

My girlfriend slept with her first love on our break, which was her idea.

I also agreed just because it was a heated argument and we were both angry. After a couple months we started seeing each other again and things were going great. She said she did not sleep with anyone when I asked her. So I was thrilled to be dating her again. I noticed things were a little suspicious when it got to the point when we were in bed. She was very hesitant but she ultimately went with it and we had sex. I found out an acquaintance of mine threatened her into telling me that she had slept with her her first love who is also the person who took her virginity. I was so attached to her after things were going so great by this point that it was hard to take it all in. She said she'd understand if I didn't want to work things out, but she did want to work things out...

Now we've been together since then for just under a year and I have forgiven, but I have not forgotten... I know the right thing is to break up with her for both of our sake... I believe there's a difference in what I'm supposed to do and what I want to do, so I am just looking for advice because its a really tough situation.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010):

I would be gone. With me any lies in this area are not tolerated, end of story.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (18 October 2010):

dirtball agony auntI don't like the lie. Usually lies are a bad sign. I agree with strontiumdog that what's really important is how happy you've been in the past year.

A note on forgiveness. If you truely forgive someone, you will let it go. You haven't forgiven her yet. Not really. I don't blame you but if you ever want to be happy you need to figure out a way to actually forgive her, completely. Good luck.

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