A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello I am a 17 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend before never kissed a girl nothing. Never had anyone really love me. I don't have any friends that are girls. Thing is I been talking to girls but I have not asked them out. I want to get a girlfriend before my senior year ends. Thing is I just don't know how people get girlfriends. I mean is there anyone out there who is attracted to me or am I just one person who is unattractive to everyone. Look I just really want to experience all this stuff. I want to kiss a girl. But how can I ask a girl out if I don't even have any girlfriends. Is it normal just to sit down have a conversation with someone then ask them out? I don't get it what would I ask them out to. You see I don't understand this stuff. Can someone please help me. I would like to know if it's feasible for me to get a girlfriend by the end of my senior year which is this year!My one goal in life is to have a family. However idk if this goal can be achieved if i'm never going to find anyone. I know not everyone is in relationships and I am not alone but come on. I'm talking I never kissed a girl before. Thats not normal at all. Please answer with advice for me! Don't tell me to focus on my grades because I have a 4.0 GPA and am in advanced college classes.
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male
reader, 83puremage1  +, writes (12 December 2010):
Your problem is very common among people who are excellent at academics, just like me. The only difference is you are 18-21 and I am only 16.
So don't worry, love will arrive when you don't expect according to some expert and according to my personal experience love will never arrive when you chase it.
The idea is just like trying to chase a rabbit in the wild and there is no way you will be faster than that rabbit. The only way is to sit there everyday and don't move. Eventually, the rabbit will assume you are part of the land and once it is close enough, you can just catch it.
hopefully my advise helps you
A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (12 December 2010):
Your problem is very common among people who are excellent at academics, just like me. The only difference is you are 18-21 and I am only 16.
So don't worry, love will arrive when you don't expect according to some expert and according to my personal experience love will never arrive when you chase it.
The idea is just like trying to chase a rabbit in the wild and there is no way you will be faster than that rabbit. The only way is to sit there everyday and don't move. Eventually, the rabbit will assume you are part of the land and once it is close enough, you can just catch it.
hopefully my advise helps you
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Relax, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 18, or date until just before I turned 19. I had friends who stayed that way until their early 20's. It's not unusual or unfixable, just undesirable.
While you're still in school, make some female friends. Talk to them in class, or talk to the college girls in your college classes. At first, follow a strict rule: do not ask them out, under any circumstances. Just get comfortable talking to them, and form some good friendships. You'd be surprised how easy that is if you're not trying to get any action.
Once you feel comfortable talking to them in class, you need to progress to hanging out with them outside of class. Get a snack after school, or rent a movie to watch with a group of them (groups are better; you don't have to talk if you don't want to, and everyone will be more comfortable. 3-4 people plus you is ideal). Go somewhere on the weekend. If you have some money to spare, ask one you're getting on well with to help you pick out some new clothes, maybe for college, claiming you need a female opinion.
Once you've been doing that for a while, and are comfortable doing so, you can finally relax the rule about asking people out. Don't burn any bridges within your own social cirlce unless you believe you have a great shot. How much or how little you like a girl is pointless - only thing that matters for right now is your chance of success. Maybe meet one of their out-of-school friends, or start talking to one you've otherwise had only minimal contact with.
Don't be mean, or too nice. Be confident, upbeat, and assertive. This means don't be afraid to make someone mad, even a girl you like, if they are being rude or getting in your way - but don't pick any fights, and don't participate in any fight or argument that is not worth it. If a girl is going to play games with you, walk away without even bothering to get the last word in - she, and other girls, will notice the respect you show yourself. On the other hand, reward any girl who is good to you with your respect and devotion.
Above all, don't get depressed (it's unattractive and not any fun), and don't ever demean yourself for anyone (including by acting like a besotted puppy), and do not fear rejection or confrontation at any step of the way. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): I will be your friend! new people are so cool.lol, no really im actually serious.
I dont know you soooo i can exactly help you here. I can help better if i knew you better, cause then i can say something better and hopefully get you along. Yknow?
xoxo Take care, message my dearcupid if youd like.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 "I don't have any friends that are girls."
Maybe you should work on that first... Having friends who are girls will help you no end in getting a girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, glassblower +, writes (22 October 2010):
 It is perfectly normal to have never been with a girl at your age. I commend your grades, that is excellent. You need to find a girl you like. Maybe you think she's pretty, you like her personality, or she's really funny. Get to know her! And then maybe one day ask if she would like to go to a football game, concert, dinner etc. with you. If she says no, that's okay. Try again! The trick is to go slow and play on your charm. Best of luck and way to go! xoxo glassblower
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Dude Im 20 and Im in the same boat you are so dont feel bad. What can we do?
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A
male
reader, uncledarren +, writes (22 October 2010):
 rights hold on a second, you are really overthinking this situation. if you overthink all this like you are then you will struggle to find a girlfriend. what i surgest is ti relax abit. don't talk to girls thinking i want a girlfriend i want a girlfriend i want a girlfriend. instead just be yourself and calm down. if you like a girl be confident and ask them on a date, the worse that can happen is they say no but that isn't the end of the world because there are plenty more fich in the sea. if your confident and nice then you could well get a date. on the date just be you and nice to the women, not pushy. normaly it will take a few dates before you get classed as going out but it will just all happen once you have a few dates but remember don't try and rush it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Well you can talk to girls in your classes. You probably shouldn't talk to them once and then ask them out, that'd be kinda weird but after you've talked a lot I guess you could ask one of them out if you like them.
Sorry I tried to answer your question, idk if it's an answer you were looking for.
Good Luck:)
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