A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best guy friend and I have become friends with benefits..... it seemed like a brilliant idea at first, but now I'm second guessing the whole thing!I really really love this guy, he's probably my best friend. We'll call him "Adam". I *thought* that I didn't love him the romantic sense, and when we both realized we were physically attracted to one another but wanted to remain platonic it seemed like a really great idea.So the last couple days, we've been fooling around, mostly just making out and touching one another. The thing is, we're both virgins. I go through moments when I think maybe I should wait for someone special, but the thing is, I've never trusted anyone more than I've trusted Adam. I'm completely comfortable around him, I don't feel nervous, I feel very very safe. I'm really worried that I'm going to develop feelings... or that they're already there, but I'm in denial? Anyways, Adam stopped by an hour or so ago, and I ended up giving him head. After the deed was done, I felt indescribably awful. I can't pinpoint the feeling. Used? I don't really think so. Dirty? Maybe a little. But I just have this strange feeling... maybe this was a bad idea? I just felt.....WEIRD. I'm very young, and not very experienced. Maybe I'm getting into this too fast?I'm overanalyzing, and my thoughts are zooming around too fast for me to focus!Should I end it? If I do, how should I go about talking to him about this? Am I simply weirded out, and will I get over it with time? I thought this was what I wanted! Why do I feel so WEIRD about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Your best bet is to end this situation. If now you feel indescribably awful it will probably only get worse. Do you not want to be with someone who produly presents you to his folks and who is not against PDA? You feel weird because you are unsure of wanting such restrictive liason, and carrying on can cover you with regrets. Better tell him that you have realised this is not the appropriate 'deal' for you, because what you wish is a relationship in the true sense of the word, romance and no secrecy, but nothing can stop you from being friends - without the benefits.
A
female
reader, saabconvertable  +, writes (9 June 2009):
honey this seems all new to you. dont be scared all us women have our heads in the clouds when it comes to romance and we think very differently to men. If he has told you he loves you and you feel safe and secure around him then talk to him and tell him how it has made you feel. i am sure he will respond how you want him to give it a try,xxxxxxxxx let me know how you get on ok
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