A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a pretty painful situation with a best friend and I would love advice or an unbiased opinion. We have been very good friends for many years, almost a decade. My romantic feelings only developed in the last several months, and were quite a surprise - but very welcome and exciting. I have dated plenty and been in relationships before, but the feelings I'm getting for my friend are so strong and so much more meaningful I don't think anything I've felt before comes close. I took some time before I confessed, because I wanted to make sure it wasn't fleeting and I was also just bloody nervous, but a few weeks or so ago I did it. I told them that I loved them already but that I was falling in-love with them. I described to them all the different things I had started to feel and want. It didn't take that long. I didn't ask for a response immediately but it came anyway. I was rejected. In short they said they didn't feel the same. I wasn't prepared for how devastated I would be. The rejection however, isn't why I'm posting to an agony aunt. Although the rejection was horribly painful and a shock, a couple of days processing and I felt capable of dealing with it in time and letting the feelings fade so we could save our friendship, which I value far more. My friend however, is acting very, very differently now, and it's making things incredibly hard. They have become very touchy feely - to elaborate: rubbing my shoulder/s, stroking my face, my foot, my hand, patting my head, 'surprising' me from behind. I complained that my fingers were aching after having to wash up in cold water, and they took my hands very gently and blew hot air into them. Being physically closer than normal when watching TV together. Things aren't just different physically either. They have started talking about things they want to do with me much more regularly. Sharing things they're reading with me, asking if I want to go places and do things together much more... Keeping me up late chatting which we never used to do. There is more, but I think you can get the gist.I'm in turmoil. I'm enjoying all the extra attention and closeness of course because I'm in love with them, but I'm emotionally confused and in pain at the same time, and trying to gather the strength to get them to stop.My question is a little doubled up, but mainly this... What is happening in this dynamic? How do you think I should navigate this?I've tried very hard to be level headed through all of this, but I'm struggling to see clearly. Thank you so much for your help.
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