A
male
age
30-35,
*imbean
writes:So I recently found a picture of my girlfriend that she took of herself when she was nude. I know that this is from a previous relationship and that she was with the guy for a while, but it is bugging the hell out of me that I accidentally ran across the pictures. I just wanted to know what other people thought about the situation Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (12 November 2010):
Retroactive jealousy is such a bloody monster and this is why. The brain sees an image of your loved one with someone else and it reacts as it has just happened. You have the emotional jolt or seeing an image that shows your g/f being sexual and then you have to try and calm the jolt down with rationality - it was 10 years ago, etc. However, the emotional jolt still lingers.
It is not just naked photos, it can just be a photo of an ex, a cuddly toy from an ex, a book with an inscription, etc. Thou shalt have no other than me either now, forwards in time and yes...even backwards it time (build a time machine immediately and sort it out! If you loved me, you'd build a time machine)
As for going through her deleted images together - it does explain how on earth you came across nude images by accident. (The cynical part of me does ask...are you sure you were looking at her deleted files together...ahem!)
Best of luck to you.x
A
male
reader, jimbean +, writes (11 November 2010):
jimbean is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust as a clarification. We were both looking through her old pictures with each other. During this process we found a picture of the old bf and she deleted it. Not sure if she knew about something I clicked on the trash to show her that pictures don't actually get deleted fully. When I did this I came across the nude pictures. This is how I "accidentally" found it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I agree how did you happen to stumble upon this picture? Were you looking thru her computer, casually flipping thru her photo albums, looking thru her pics on her phone?
If anything she forgot to get rid of it, or that it was still lying around. How hard did you have to dig to find it? You're questioning the trust for no reason, it was a photo from a long time ago..it happened before your time. If it's on her phone delete it for her, or put it back where you found it and go on about your business.
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hello.
By reading your question, it can been taken a couple of ways. Are you bothered that you 'found' this picture FULLSTOP and the image is a reminder that your g/f had a sexual life before you? Or you are bothered because it was casually taped to a skateboard you 'accidentally' tripped over whilst skipping to the fridge? Come on...how did you really come across this photo?
Breaking News...your g/f had a sex life before you. Breaking News..that was in the past. Breaking News...she is with you now. Breaking News...if you feel the over-riding urge to ask her about it, you better have a good explaination of how you came across the image in the first place.
Leave this in the past..honestly...let it go.
Hope it helps and good luck to you.xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Why does she even have that picture? This is obviously bothering you, and it will for a long time. Talk to her, and find out details.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hi, honey.
That is her past, you are her future. I understand how you might feel, but she is with you now not him. If you feel insecure talk to her, tell her how you feel. Share your feelings with her. But dont worry or judge her for that. Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): How did you "accidentally" find these pictures? Were you snooping somewhere you shouldn't? However you found out about it it really shouldn't bother you. I'd understand if she'd been sending pictures to other guys since she's been with you but she hasn't.
I'm sure you've done things with girls in the past before you got with your girlfriend but that doesn't matter does it? It's in the past, just leave it there.
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