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Find it hard to relate to people but want to change... What can I do?

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Question - (16 January 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Hi,

I am worried about my personality as i find it hard to relate with people. I am 24 yrs. old male and don't consider some people (esp. those who are ugly) as worth of glance. I just keep by head down and talk with them. Same for people whom i feel to be unworthy based on my criteria of worthiness to be able to relate. I feel ashamed about it but can't help it. Some people, even though they are nice to me, i can't accept them. I am in a way racist and a discriminant. How do i overcome this attitude? Please advice.

Prash

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A female reader, Celeste Ireland +, writes (17 January 2006):

Celeste agony auntThe fact that you realise that this behaviour is destructive to your life, and your attitude, shows that you want to change it, which is good. At least you don't believe that yours is the only opinion, and no one else has a look in. What I think you should do is go out there, and speak to the people that you think are different.. Make a conscious effort to get to know people despite what they look like. They will have a different outlook on life, which you may pick up on, and in some cases relate to..

If you feel that you are a racist, study the history of other cultures. Part of the reason that I think you feel this way is that your scared that these different people will reject you if you try to make friends with them, so you make yourself feel more confident by belittling them in your own head.

This problem is totally fixable, if you really want to fix it.

Hope this helps!

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A male reader, harshbutfair United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2006):

harshbutfair agony auntAnon - not a terribly helpful answer.

To the question asker. Great question and very honest.

Remember that inside everyone is the same. Sure, some have killed. Some have been abused as kids. Some are fuc**d on drink and drugs... And others have aids. But aside from that we're all soft and fleshy and pretty goddamned stupid. Just enjoy what you can, it only lasts around 75 years y'know. Take what you can, respect your fellow man, and have a darned fine time.

Good luck

HBF.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

Well I would say get your nose out of the air and your head out of your arse.

I am glad I dont know you I dont want to know you.

You say ugly people dont deserve a glance well define ugly- one persons ugly is another persons fabulous!!!

At the end of the day you need to get a grip on yourself you obviously realise this or you wouldnt have posted this 'problem'.

One final thing ugly on the inside is the worst thing to be!!

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