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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi - My boyfriend and I have been dating for at least a year and I sent him a note telling him that finally I love him. He ignored me for 2 days. I sent him another note about it and he ignored me again for 2 days. I don't really care if he loves me anymore; I just think it's really crappy of him to ignore me like that. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 Absolutely!!! That was really crappy of him. You open your heart to him like that and he just ignores you! That's terrible and you need to confront him. You've been together a year, it's not as if you're moving too fast and scaring him, is it? He needs to sort his ideas out. You haven't got anymore time to waste on an immature little boy who is scared of commitment. You need to confront him, see how he feels and if there is no future for you two, you need to move on and find someone who respects your feelings and who won't ignore you, whatever you're saying.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 You don't say how old either of you is, and that could have a big part in his reaction.
You also don't indicate if he's ever said that he loves you, so if he hasn't, I'd suggest that he's probably scared and a little stunned by your notes.
From the sound of your letter, you're pretty young (guessing 13 or 14?) and telling him in writing that you love him might be a pretty strong admission. He might not have known how to respond.
Think about it from his perspective. What was he supposed to say? "I love you too"? But what if he's not sure yet? What if he feels it, but he's afraid to say it?
I think you're being a bit hard on him. Two letters is probably confirmation enough for him; give it a break. (And might I suggest that if his ignoring your devotion for just 4 days is enough to kill off your feelings, that maybe it wasn't "love" after all?)
I wonder too why you sent him notes, instead of telling him face to face... Don't you see each other? Date each other? Talk?
My impression is that you sent him a romantic note, hoping he'd respond in kind. And when he didn't, you got annoyed that your fantasy was wrecked. But don't pin all the blame on him; you kind of set this up yourself.
Forgive him, and forgive yourself for expecting too much. Give him a bit of space, don't worry too much about whether or not it's "love" right now. Enjoy his company (assuming you do), and just have fun with him instead. He's much less likely to ignore someone who's fun to be around, don't you think?
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