A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I feel so guilty and awful. Quick story is that my relationship with this girl I know who I have become friends over the past year or so, got to the point where I could not be friends with her anymore.She is a difficult personality. Although physically very attractive, she is undependable (she will make plans enthusiastically but cancel them at the last minute), a habitual liar, and very selfish and entitled (she never gives anything but only takes).I feel guilty because in a way she thought I was her friend. Her definition of friendship is weird, but whatever it was, she still thought of me as a friend. However, her behavior was driving me crazy and making me feel very uncomfortable in her presence. I tried talking about it with her many times but she would never listen to any criticism, and called me a baby for complaining.So I broke contact with her. It was the only way.Now I sometimes get images in my head of her thinking, "I drove another person away," or "I knew I could not trust anyone." I feel guilty for contributing to her situation. Maybe if I had stayed longer I could have had some positive effect on her. But then I think that is ridiculous, that I could never change her. Still, every day I feel rotten, like I betrayed someone who in their warped way depending on me.Any input would be most welcome.
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male
reader, GRW  +, writes (27 January 2011):
Good riddance. It is not your burden to fix her. Characteristics like that are ingrained very deeply in people, making them nearly impossible to change.
Over the last few years, I have slowly eliminated every negative influence like that from my life and have been much happier because of it. The hardest was parting ways with my old best friend; over the last 5 years, he turned into a cynical, ranting, complaining, pessimist that would never do a favor for you, but ask for them in return. I now only hang around people I respect that make me a better individual; not people that bring me down with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): sometimes friendship means accepting that person, warts and all..but truly, if you feel uncomfortable in her presence, you have every right to discontinue the friendship. having said that, you feel guilty cos you think you did the wrong thing by her.
true friends are the only ones who tell you the truth no matter how unpleasant it is for you..and you were doing that for her..if you can, please get back in touch with her.
you don't have to roll with her and her other friends.
at the end of the day, you must do that which makes YOU happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Do you know what went wrong?She is completely different from you.So you tried to change her.Every human being likes to be loved for themselves.There is a famous saying,"Better be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not".Sometimes its easy to criticize and judge other people with out ever realizing that there's something wrong with us.I have a strong feeling that you have not written most of the scenarios which you faced.
If she was a person who only took and took why are you feeling guilty in the first place.Something just doesn't sum up here.
One simple way to explain all this would be she has deep feelings for you,You are unavailable and she is trying her level best to get over it.Feelings are irrational.When she is trying to come to terms with it she is behaving irrationally.
And I would still ask for lots of scenarios.Something doesn't sound right here am afraid.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): What did she depend on you for? What does friend mean to her that's weird?
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A
male
reader, sam44 +, writes (27 January 2011):
Why feel guilty for cutting off a selfish, undependable, liar, take take friend? is it because she is attractive? come on now bro. Keep away from people who ave the potential to destruct you from focusing on your goals. Dont feel guilty... what you did is what a grown man does, Make a bold decision, and proceed. Once in while you have to put you interest first before trying to change someone, or you want her to screw your life over first then cut her off? if she is no good... then don't stress. All you need is to understand this, its your life, you have all the control in your life, you should be free to make changes and adjustment that fits your interest, failure to that.... you will end up trapped in the wrong crowd one day. You did the right thing.
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