A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm hoping to get some advice to what might sound like a really trivial problem - I know it sounds silly but I can hardly sleep over it so hope someone will offer advice.I am married and pregnant. Every Christmas day I spend with my parents - although I have two siblings, they live far away and have large families. I have only spend one Christmas away from my mum and dad because they don't get on with each other and my mum would have a lonely and boring Christmas without anyone else with her. The problem is that now I am married my husband and I have always invited her to our house because she is a hoarder and hates 'outsiders' coming in. Her house is really appalling so she can't invite anyone round there. This Christmas, I have been invited to my husbands sisters house and am thinking of going. I would be 7 months pregnant and it would be nice not to host for anyone else. Then next Christmas, when we have the baby we could spend on our own with the baby. Trouble is, I feel terribly guilty about it - I just feel so sorry for my mum because it means she will be on her own. Or rather, with my dad but he is in bed most of the time. My sister and brother have spent Chritmas with my parents but only 1 or 2 and only if everyone is there - like me and our other sibling. Anyway, like I said I know it sounds trivial and I am lucky to have parents and a good family but I just feel such guilt every Christmas. Thanks for reading xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): I feel you, I was the same with my mother I used to tell people it just my umbilicus cord wasn't cut it just stretched lol lolBut I agree with sage I think if you say to mum she will be fine, go see her Xmas eve if you can just for an hour or so .. Or as soon as you can when you come home .. It's lovely to see you appreciate your mum .. As someone who has lost their mum, I'm glad I spent as much time I could with my mum , when she was alive .. And my dad .. Take care and congratulation on the baby
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 You can't coddle your Mum forever. You have a life of your own, you know....
I'm willing to wager that,... if you bring this subject up with your Mum.... she will understand exactly what you are planning to do....and will say to you: "Oh, for Heaven's sake (your name here), GO, and have fun with you in-laws, and worry not a whit about me. We can catch up and have "holidays" after the first of the new year...."
Give it a try....
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