A
male
age
41-50,
*tomic123
writes:As the title suggest I have a friend (FM) who I have known for a few years, I am male 33 years old and don’t want to ruin our friendship but I'm struggling with the feelings I have for her and it's cutting me up inside as to how I feel and what to do about it!!I have known her for years, I have always liked her and become good friends. At the time we were both had BF/GF’s so didn’t go further than friends.A Year after becoming friends she was single so I asked her out on a date, she said “no, you know how bad I am with relationships and don’t want to lose you as a friend by screwing up a relationship with you and losing a friend as well”This did hurt so I started to drift away perpously but she always contacted me.Over the last few years I got to know her better hoping to find things I didn’t like about her and just have a good friends thing going on but It had the opposite effect, With nothing to lose I was myself through and through and found we like so much of the same stuff and think along the same lines its scary, if this isn’t my soul mate I don’t know who is!In the past 6 months we seam to have got much closer, maybe im over analyzing things here so looked up ‘flirting signs’ on the net and she does them all! Is this just because she is comeftable with me? I have nobody to talk to about this hence im hoping for some honest thoughts from the people here. If im wrong it will destroy our friendship, I cant say nothing as I feel im lying to her and it hurts me inside so much and im tearful all the time. Thank you for taking the time to read this I know it’s written quite badly but I find it hard to summarise this situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Dude, forget the ladder theory that is the biggest bunch of nonsense I have ever read.
You really have two choices here, to lie on your bed in tears and not move this relationship to the next level or to decide that if you are falling in love with this woman, is love worth the risk of ruining a great friendship? Is the chance for love worth the risk? Only you can decide, pal.
Will you have a guarantee that she will feel the same? No, in order to be loved and have the chance to love we must overcome our fear of rejection, and know that what ever happens, we will move on, we will survive and we will most definately love again.
A great friendship is the basis for all true love relationships, this is how those great romances usually start, this gives you a much better chance of taking this to the next level and coming out with a great romance.
A
male
reader, bringonthepain +, writes (16 November 2007):
check this dude http://www.laddertheory.com/
seriously, check it before you do anything.
i cant offer any more help as i'm in a very similar situation =[
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