A
male
age
30-35,
*anther
writes:Hi i had been with a girl for 2 years and towards the end we started to argue and il be honest i didnt treat her very well during this relationship ( i regret this very much) so we ended up breaking up. After only 3 months we started chatting again and getting on great, we started seeing each other and when we are together we hold hands, kiss and cuddle up. I like her more than ever and want to be with her, however, Its been about 4 months now and she doesnt want a relationship or to do anything more than kissing just want to keep it how it is. Which, dont get me wrong, is nice however i want to take it to the next stage. Iv asked her whats holding her back and she just says 'dont know' and gets very protective.She acts like she doesnt care as much anymore and i really dont know what to do. Should i move on or wait and hope eventually she might want to get back with me?Im young but i really love this girl and dont want to leave her even tho i am unhappy how it is at the moment should i try and change her?Any help is appreciated. Thanks
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male
reader, CarlosUK +, writes (18 August 2008):
 Yeah I think she is just being wary and not wanting to go through what she has been in the past. You can't blame her for that as she is just looking out for herself.
She is going to need reassuring that what has happened in the past isn't going to happen again but you have to remember that she might never be fully secure in which case you have to question as to weather it's worth building a relationship when she is feeling that way.
Thing is though, can you be sure that what has happened in the past isn't going to happen again! Maybe you are being like this because you are just missing her as a person and friend and and not so much as a girlfriend. You might find once you get back into a routine with her things go back to the way they were before.
I would say take things slow and see how she reacts. Don't push for anything but remember that you can't go on like this forever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): I think that she doesn't want you and her to end up like you did last time. Perhaps you should wait for a while, because she could still love you but be pacing it. If nothing happens tell her that you want a serious relationship. If she doesn't I'm afraid you'll have to move on, if you're unhappy and find someone else no matter how badly you want her.
Good Luck.xx :)
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