A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I apologize if this is a bit long..I have been talking to this guy for about a month and we have hung out like once a week. We usually hang out at his house and just lay around watching tv or a movie. At first we just made out and stuff. Last week we actually had sex. Now I never press the issue but one day I was joking with him and said "Oh I think you like me" and he answered "yea a little".. we talked a litte more and he said he was just nervous and he didn't want to jump into anything because of his last girlfriend.We still hang out but don't have sex it's usually just making out, sometimes he will play and hit me with a pillow and stuff.Now he says he doesn't know what he wants, it's got me confused so much. I told him lets just see what happens and he agreed, but I don't know how to make it go further. I don't want to just be used.How do I know if he wants to be with me or just wants to hook up and nothing more? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, almc  +, writes (18 August 2010):
Don't have sex with him!! If takes you around his friends, or out more, tells you more about his life, then he might want something. But just don't give it away. Make sure your dating. Take your time.good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Well most guys either like you more or don't like you at all after your have sex the first time. Maybe he didn't want to do it in the first place and wanted to wait. Now he is mad at himself? Its possible.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Ahhh the famous 'I don't know what I want' line. You obviously want a full-on relationship with him. It is ok to have sex with someone right away if you have no expectations of dating afterwards. However, in your case it has got you muddled about where your relationship with him is going. Don't have sex with him again until he is at least willing to date you properly. By that I mean going OUT for a meal, to the movies, a club or whatever you both like to do. When he starts treating you like his girlfriend for a while, act like him girlfriend (physically). If he cannot be bothered to date you and just wants you to hang out at home then it speaks volumes. It means he is a cheap-skate who doesn't feel the need to spend money on a proper date (even going half!). It also means that he doesn't want to be out and about in the community showing you off as his girl. If he isn't prepared to make the effort, stop giving him sex as it is making it all too easy for him to behave badly. It is ok to be friend's with him but you need to exert self control or else you will end up broken-hearted.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Don't have sex with him until you know. The more you hang out, the more you can get a feeling for the direction you're going. I think he likes you, but his hesitancy is a bit of a test. If you sleep with him anyway, you've now intered into the FWB territory and you can expect it to never progress further. Let him know you like him and would like a relationship when he's ready. Until then, what you're doing isn't hurting anyhing, but it may cause attachment so be careful.
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