A
female
age
26-29,
*ne girl, thousands of questions.
writes:i have been with my 16 year old boyfriend for almost 7 months now, we dont fight at all some people say thats its better to fight sometimes it makes the realationship stronger? would anyone agree? we do have little moods with each other but not big arguements. the reason i ask this now is beacause i lied ti him about meeting 2 other guys, just in a friednly way i am not a cheater. and he wasnt botherd he just told me he loved me does he? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, one girl, thousands of questions. +, writes (31 December 2010):
one girl, thousands of questions. is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks guys! the comments actually helped a lot..
A
female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 No, fighting does not make a relationship stronger. Communicating does. Openness does. Honesty does. If you two fight while being open and honest, so be it. It's all about how the fights are handled.My fiance used to fight constantly with his ex-girlfriend of 1.5 years (on-and-off). Granted, they were both very young (she was 15/16, he was 18/19) at the time, but they would fight nonstop. She would purposefully start arguments just to have a bit of drama going at all times. My fiance said that he thought it was normal because it's what he grew up around, but he hated every moment of it.Now, my fiance and I hardly ever argue. Some people say that we're the "perfect couple". Not true, but we've learned how we like our conflicts to be resolved with one another. Admitting when you're wrong is a big part of it. Don't keep a fight going just because you're stubborn to admit when you've made a mistake. Talking and not yelling also helps. Yelling just creates more tension and unwanted anger. Talk about why you feel a certain way instead of pointing fingers at your partner and blaming them for it. Talking about your feelings usually opens up doors to discovering that you're actually not mad about what you're fighting over.Just be honest, and no, do NOT start fights just because you think they're necessary. They're absolutely not.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If you lied, you cheated.
But that's not what you asked.
No, fighting doesn't make a relationship better.
However; it's going to happen from time to time.
What's important is how people deal with conflict in relationships.
And it IS better to fight than to bottle everything up, though it's much better to communicate honestly.
If you learn to be honest, fights will be extremely rare.
It should NOT happen over lying.
I can't answer whether or not he loves you, but he's apparently ok with you lying to him.
If he gets to a point where trust becomes important to him, he'll kick you to the curb and find someone that he *can* trust.
...............................
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (21 December 2010):
1. It depends on both of your moods and overall level of maturity. Some couples can get in violent spats about absolutely nothing. Some only fight when things are serious. Which are you? Do you find yourself getting agitated over the little things? Does he?
2. How well do you communicate? Do you often tell everything to each other and have serious conversations? Do you feel you don't share certain things with him because you don't feel as close to him as you do your good friends?
3. Is there anything to fight about?
Fights don't necessarily make relationships stronger; in fact they mostly chip away at them. On the other hand, NOT talking about things that are bothering you about the relationship will hurt both of you even more! I suggest developing a sense of close communication; try sharing more things with each other. The more you communicate, the stronger your relationship will be, without the fighting!
Best of luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, 15girl +, writes (21 December 2010):
 define how much you fight, i had the same experience but now weve broken up,
a little bit of fighting can make it strnger but not alot it wrecks the relationship
go to your bf and tell him you need to fight less
i hope i helped
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Fighting or friction in a relationship doesn't make it stronger. The best relationship are based on friendship, respect, care and affection. And your boyfriend sounds like as nice guy if he is not jealous you being friendly with others boys. It means he is secure within himself. Are you trying to test him? I would say that is game playing. It sounds as if you are unsure what makes a relationship tick. You are quite young and new at this. In your teens having fun and enjoying someone's company should be the most important thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Only YOU can really tell whether he loves you. But you'll know he's right for you if you feel you can talk to him honestly and openly about those things i.e. meeting other guys etc. Honesty and openness are the two most important things in a relationship.. and the secret to a long-lasting one.
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We've had a few rows, but overall we just have little moods with each other as you do. It sounds healthy enough to me. Because you don't constantly have standup fights is nothing to worry about. If you have regular disagreements and can freely voice your opinions and work through your differences, then you have the foundation for a great relationship.
I think you do need to have SOME disagreements, which you ARE having. I say that, because, no two people agree on things everyday, all the time. That would just be creepy.
A couple I know very well, some of my best friends in fact, have been together for years. They've broken up a few times, but when they're together, they NEVER fight.
From the outside looking in, they seem to agree on everything and they're inseperable. Sounds like a happy couple right? WRONG. The boyfriend is absolutely 100% compliant and subserviant to her every whim! She suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, which drives US all crazy, but he's so passive he NEVER questions anything she does and gives her anything she asks for. They don't fight at all, but does that sound healthy to you?
So I think YOU have nothing to worry about. The fact you were honest with your boyfriend about the guys you met and he told you he loved you sounds like the beginning of a great relationship :) Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): My husband and I "never" fought for the 17 years we have been together (of which we have been married for 10 years).
We are now on the brink of divorce and in marriage counseling but I think it may be too late. We are STILL having trouble fighting, instead we each tend to just shut down and shut each other out which means the relationship is dead.
Moral of story: fighting may or may not be bad for a relationship, it depends.... but NEVER ever fighting is definitely bad because it means you are not communicating or you're suppressing or hiding things or avoiding dealing with problems. In relationships, major problems don't go away by themselves just cos you don't talk about them.
Psychologists say that it's not how much you fight, but the nature of the fights and how it's handled that is important
...............................
|
