A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The next day after having sex for the first time with a girlfriend is it expected that I write her a special note or e-mail? I am not good at writing notes. Is it just to be a thank you note? What are some other things that I may want to say? Can you give me some ideas? Would it be acceptable to tell her of positions or things that we did as part of sex that I really enjoyed and hope to do again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I dated a guy once, who I really liked, who left me a note the first time I slept over his house. I guess he left it cause he had to go to work and didn't want to wake me up. It said something like, "I had a great time, as usual. You can stay here as long as you'd like." Something like that. And he wrote it on the back of a coaster from the bar that we met at and used to frequent, which made it so much more special and thoughtful. I was so flattered. I saved that coaster forever. No guy had ever left me a note right after sleeping together. I don't even think we had sex though. But we slept together in the same bed and I'm sure we made out.
Just the fact that he took the time to do that is so priceless and special. I mean he could have just left to work and give me a kiss and that was it. But he actually sat down, found the coaster (which he knew I would love that), and wrote me a few lines. Ah, I still get butterflies.
So while, NO, normally guys don't write notes after sex, the fact that you do it is going to really set you light years apart from the average guy and make you seem really really special. It is so flattering. And if she is anythig like me she will always remember you for it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): dude are you serious? that is possibly the the worst idea ive ever heard of, please for the love of god do not leave that note.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): No written words please, just be your self. I think it is something that is best not mentioned but just love her and treat her right. no notes please.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): As you are young I am guessing that you are curious and not sexually active.
Please dont write a thank you note if you do have sex with anyone - I cant think of anything more insulting!
It might be nice maybe to send flowers or give her a call just telling her that you had a great time and would like to do it again sometime but certainly NOT a note like:
"Hi, Thank you for your participation last night, I really enjoyed you in the 69 position and I hope we can do that again next time."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Please don't tell her about sexual positions you enjoyed...not at this stage of the relationship! The best thing to do is just to call her and chat normally, let her know that you are there and still like her and want to see her again. Try not to concentrate just on the sexual experience between the two of you - she wants you to want to be with her for HER not because of the sex. I also would't write a thank you note. If she is into you as well then you both benefit from enjoying each others company. Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): NO! Not a thank you note. She doesn't do you a favour by sleeping with you, that's offensive. If you insist, you can put a post-it on her... furniture, fridge etc, saying - 'You are beautiful', 'You are etc.' NOT "you were!" - not past tense! Because she is all that the entire time. No thank you's for the act. All the best.
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