A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone have any advice on how to get a fun-loving, women (plural) loving, playboy-of-a-kind guyto be more serious? Do men ever change? What would you get one for Valentine's Day? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): You can't change anyone. You say he's a playboy, a women-loving guy. Be careful-I would call a man like that a philanderer. Does he flirt a lot with other women? A man who is always checking out other women, you have a guy who is 'only' interested in other women for affirming his masculinity. He'll get it anyway he can with no thought of the pain he might cause you. His ego is more important, even more important than the women he is supposed to love. Thus is why he he feeds off the attentions of other women--alot. In my youth, I dated a 'philanderer' and I so stupidly excused his behavior by saying to myself...'whata fun guy! he loves women, he understands women, he's just a charming, harmless flirt". I found out differently as our relationship, progressed. However, while being charming to other women, this guy became eventually cruel and abusive towards me. Guys like this never want an equal, committed relationship with a woman. They don't know how. Females are an inferior gender, in their eyes. We exist only to keep his male ego affirmed. The 'playboy' lifestyle or mindset is important and is crucial to their masculinity. The problem is deeply rooted in these men and like "Melschatbox' says, you cannot change them. Find a man, who respects woman and doesn't 'use' females to make his feel good. You want a man who is confident, trusting and totally devoted to you and has eyes for just you.. Rather than wondering about a Valentine's card, I'd be rethinking this relationship. You asked..this is just my opinion. I could be wrong but in my experience, knowing playboy types..this has always been the case. Please be careful, hun...a man who loves you and only you, doesn't act this way. He treats you like gold and he doesn't care about gaining the attentions of other women because he is content with simply have your devotion and attentions.
A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Honey, I don't think he'll change. To be a flirt is inbred and genetic in some men..IMO. If you want the commiting type, you may have to start over and just cut your losses.
Happy Valentines Day! :)
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