| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have a bit of a situation going on, firstly I have this great friend I have known quite a few years now who I get on with so well and I know he would definitely like more between us. There's been the odd time together but nothing thats gone very far. I know it sounds pretty perfect but he lives quite far away now and I barely see him, I'm not sure how long it will be for either.At the same time I went through some really tough times here getting over an ex etc and someone came into my life he offered to cheer me up. We ended up having a sort of affair. Physical pretty much but I know how wrong it is, it was only because I was feeling so rotten at the time and then it was hard to walk away. Somehow I just picked myself up and decided a little while ago that what I was doing was not only hurtful to others but I was completely degrading myself in the process. I called time on it but feel so lonely now. I want a proper relationship not just used whenever he fancied.The bright idea is the friend, but am I just picking myself up by being with another? What if i decide it's not what I wanted and lose another friend. It takes me ages to get over people and I know leaving time before attempting anything with the friend won't actually do anything because I wont have got over the last one until I begin something with someone else.Any help is great! thank you x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): Spare your friend. You have no physical attraction to him and you are only going to use him as a stepping stone to some other guy you are physically attracted to. You can't have it both ways either play safe or play dangerous, only you can decide, but which you decide you need to stick to. Like you say people get hurt and it's usually the ones that don't deserve to be.
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