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Do I really love my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2012)
A female , anonymous writes:

I'm new to a long term relationship and I'm having these weird feelings like I don't know if I really love my boyfriend or if I do really love him. Also the feelings have been happening for a while. Is this normal and will my feelings come back?

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A female reader, khadi United States +, writes (21 June 2012):

I'm actually kinda confused about how I feel about my boyfriend. His all I think about every day and every second that pass. I always want to see him, want to talk to him , and I always want to b in his arms. And every time I see him my heart starts beating faster. Could this be love? Or am I just confused?

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A female reader, babesalive +, writes (12 September 2006):

You seem to me that things in the relationship are missing may be you dont do enough as a couple or you have grown apart. May be the intmacy has lost its spark as time goes on you need to try new things together. then your feelings might change or you might need more time with your friends then you might fall in love all over again. I think you might get your feelings back if you truly loved him and if not thereis plenty more fish out there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006):

hey hunny i understand to you so much becuase me and my boyfriend were having the same troubles but now that is over. it is normal and you can look into your heart deep enough to find out if you really love him. i know that sounds corny but its true.



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A female reader, Lisho +, writes (7 July 2006):

Lisho agony auntThis is exactly how i feel. Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year and his my first proper boyfiend.

sometimes i have really strong feelings for him and i can only describe it as love and then the next day its gone and i feel guilty, because he always tells me he loves me and his so certain all the tmie.

im really lucky though because i have a really undastanding bf. ive told him how i feel and he said that he knows what i mean and that the feeling of love is stronger sometimes than others and even if you dont feel it all the time it doesnt mean you dont.

i think that if you truely do the feeling will come back. sometimes you dont realise what you have got or properly feel untill its gone. Maybe you should spend a little time apart so you can realise how strong you feelings are

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A female reader, Smiler +, writes (14 June 2006):

Smiler agony auntHey there

Well sweetie this is a question only you really know the answer for but i will try to advice you how to get to the answer if that helps you any :o)... firstly you say your in a long term relationship at the beginning of your post like its a death sentance or something... as said above the honey moon period in your relationship has definately past i think maybe its just gone a little stale between you to and your stuck in a rut so you probably do love him or you wouldnt still be together would you but you have probably just lost the spark thats all... there are plenty of things to do about that we'll get to that in a minute ok... but about the do i love him bit? well what attracted you to this guy in the first place why did you actually fall for him in the beginning? remember those things you loved about him then and what attracted you to him in the first place... then having done that just try and imagine your life without him around and how much you'd miss him if anything was to happen and how sad you'd feel then honey you'll feel the love you have for him tugging away at your heart strings trust me. as fro putting the spark back well there are lots of things you could try for example you could try acting out each others fantasies really get into the role play try different sexual postions or different places add excitement into your sex life try sex in a publicish place spontaneous sex right here right now kinda thing, make things so hot and passionate between you that you both won't be able to keep your hands of each other send him sexy texts while he's at work telling him what you have planned when him comes home etc... or have a nice romantic picnic together and tell him you will be dessert.. etc see how you get on with a few of those suggestions you will then rediscover the feelings you have deep inside for each other but about all HAVE FUN :o)....!

I hope my advice was able to help you babe :o) if you ever need a chat or just a friend to talk to i'm always here for you ok, I wopuld love to hear from you again find out how things are going so don't hesitate to email me ok... Keep Smiling :o)

You Take Care X

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006):

It's difficult to answer your question with so few details, but generally speaking it is normal for people to sometimes be confused about how they feel about a person. There are all sorts of reasons why someone might doubt their feelings. The most simplist answer could be true; you may just no longer want to be with that person. This could be for any number of reasons. Perhaps, having got to know this person more deeply, you've found that they arn't the person for you. Alternatively, since getting together, one or both of your lifes have changed in such a way that you no longer have the same similarities or "connection".

There are however so many other reasons for why you may have doubts. Sometimes when people get in to relationships, and start having feelings such as love, and the prospect that this could be "the one" they can react negatively. People who have been hurt in the past, or are afraid of what "commitment" might bring, may, without being fully consciously incontrol sabotage that relationship with negative thinking and the belief that they want out.

Only you know the reasons for why you are having doubts about your boyfriend and with time, you will find out what they are. Try to think about how you felt about him before, what things have changed now, and whether or not it is him that has made your feelings change, or if it is something within you. You should hopefully be able to access your feelings like this by comparing them with past events that you shared with him.

Good luck with it, I am sure you will become more certain about your feelings over the next few weeks. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006):

i think after about 2-3 yrs the whole "honeymoon" period is over things become different. You no longer feel those same feelings of being "in" love. The love is still there but it evolves to suit the circumstances and your lives individually and collectively. I think when you love some one in a long term relationship it's kind of like you already know it's there (sometimes people take advantage of that!) so you don't really acknowledge it as much or because its changed its form slightly. In a strange kind of way i guess you could liken it to the love you have for your mother or father - you dont feel overwhelmed by it and sometimes you dont think that they do but when you take a closer look at what really matters in life you see that they are there for you in all kinds of ways wheich you may have been blind to at first glance! Don't try to force back feelings of "in" love phase it just ruins the transition you're going through. Rather try to look at the new ways that you can see the love through things you do and he does...I can't really explain anymore than that I hope that has helped you in some way!!??? Good Luck

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