A
male
age
30-35,
*parta
writes:My girlfriend lives 8 hours away. I want to move down there with her but would prefer her to move here, it is so far away from everything I know. I am a country guy bread in full; she lives in the big City L.A. It feels strange to think I would be living some place with a huge crime rate and gang members shooting about; not to mention I wont be seeing the vast empty fields of the populous anymore. I've only ever went out of state for competitions I was participating in; other than that I've never went anywhere except the towns around where I live. Living here would be so much safer, wouldn't have to worry about her going anywhere alone. The colleges are good here and most of the people in this area still have big family values and watch out for one another. Do I go to her; or ask her to come to me?Am I being selfish? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sparta +, writes (13 May 2011):
Sparta is verified as being by the original poster of the question @Annalisa: The reason she feels safe there is because her family (NOT HER, she goes to college and maintains a 4.0 grade, she chose to stay out of it all a long time ago) is involved with one of the controling gangs. She herself is safe in the area she lives in. But she has told me about shootings; just two weeks ago a man was shot to death down the street from her mothers house. She still says she's not worried; which having to concider she's lived there her whole life too, seeing things like that or being around them isn't anything new.
Honestly I just want to get her out of there; or atleast far enough away from that neighborhood where there's actual people that only have guns in their safes for protection.
@Cindy: Yeah I'm chicken lol, the town I lived in had a population of 600. Thats less people than I had in the highschool I drove to every day. Going to a place where there's 600 or more on a city block.....just WOW in thought.
@StarryEyes: You understand alot of what I'm talking about. The cities are so overbearing; and so fast paced. Everyone is in a hurry to get to this place or another. And here in California...golly..
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I think you are being just a bit chicken : )
You are not selfish... you are scared. Which is normal.
But, it's good to challenge ourselves. Particularly about opening our minds , trying new places, new styles of life, seeing new things. I'd make it mandatory for young people, to wrench themselves off the comfort and familiarity of their homes and go somewhere else, get some life experience, deal with different people and cultures and mentalities for at least two years.
You may like it or hate it, but it will enrich your life regardless.
As for L.A.- I guess everything is relative . I lived there 4 years, and I liked it because to me, city girl, it had a very distinct rural feeling, lol ! It's a weird place- you get high rise buildings, and just next - a canyon. There is so much nature- hills and parks and beaches - just literally minutes from the busiest intersections, the most crowded malls. My next door neighbour ( in a neighborhood full of shops, restaurants , bars etc. ) used to shoot the raccoons (or where they opossums ? ) that would try every night to steal her tomato plants.
I'd say , go there with an open mind. It won't be necessarily " worse " than were you live , just different.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 No, you're not being selfish. It's the only place you know. You're 18-21. Still really young. You need to talk to her about it. I know I could never move from where I live to somewhere more populated. If anything it would have to be the same. I've lived in the same area for 21 years. I don't know anywhere else. I go into the city maybe 5 times a year, and i hate it. It's so full of ignorant people that's why it's so rare I go there. And it's only a small city so LA would be horrendous to me. I don't know where ur from but I'm guessing it's a good place to bring up a family. You need to voice ur feelings to her. If you don't want to move there. Don't!
I hope this helps
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