A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts and uncles.I have recently written on here before maybe 2-3 weeks ago, about how i had started to like another boy that i had only known for 2 weeks, when i had a boyfriend that id been with for 16 months.Well il update everyone before i ask my question. My boyfriend around 4-7 days after i wrote the question finished with me, saying that as we werent seeing each other anymore he didnt want to be with me and that i had my "head too far up" the girls asses. I admitt that i stopped seeing him, but mainly just because his violene and controlling ways had got worse than ever. (The day before he had thrown a pack of cards at me and spat in my face because i said i was going out for lunch with my friends)So as you can imagine, id been thinking about finishing with him for a while, and i now had this new amazing boy in my life so i was fine, there was no tears or anything. I just took it in my stride.Until this new boy became wayy to clingy, he was texting me every second of everyday, he was telling me that he loved me and he had even stopped going out with his mates so that he can text me. I dont know why, but this really put me off him. I felt myself running in the opposite direction, and it made me annoyed at myself that i started to miss my ex boyfriend and turn this other boy down.This new boy was also telling me how amazing i was, how i deserved better and how he was going to give me space as he realised id just come out of a relationship with another person. He is gorgeous and had the sweetest personallity ever. Yet we just didnt connect physically, when we kissed it just didnt seem to happen, it was like we couldnt and it became extremely awkward.Then my ex boyfriend found out that me and another boy had been getting close, and rang me up calling me a "cheating slag" and saying tell your new boy that im going to stamp on his head. My ex was on a complete rampage, and came to where i was, looking for this boy, he threatend my friends and then i said "he's not here" he turned round and spat on me and told me to shut the hell up as i was a cheating "bitch". Things have calmed down now, and my ex boyfriend is saying how he thought we were getting back together and he's lost all his trust in me. What i dont understand is that he finished with me, so i was single? Anyway im ment to be going on holiday with my ex boyfriend next tuesday, and we have been meeting each other and sorting things out. I honestly dont no what to do, i dont no whether to go or whether to stay, and i dont no whether i should get back with my boyfriend of 16 months or just stay single.Please help me. Im so confused. and sorry for it being long, i thought if you knew eveyrthing you would be able to give a better judgement.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Seriously? You're willing to be with someone who treats you worse than dog shit? Have some more pride in yourself. Let him go, get a restraining order. It's rediculous that you'd even consider being with him again. 16 months is not a huge amount of time. You can get over him.
The other guy was too clingy for you, you need someone a little more independant, but that doesn't mean you should go back to the guy who beats you.
A
male
reader, Flash71  +, writes (6 July 2009):
You need to get out of this relationship and stay out of it. This guy is a head-case and an abusive one at that. Don't think he will change and it will get better - he won't and neither will the situation (in my opinion anyway). You are your own person, not his possession and I think you could be in for a good deal of misery if you stay. Give yourself some space and then find someone who will treat you with respect.
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