A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi my question is do dads tend to be closer to their sons or their daughters?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou c grant i appreciate your opinion, my ex does love my daughter i know it's just really that my daughter says she is shy when she goes to his and has to prepare herself but after a few hours she relaxes with him. so although he makes the effort and i know she loves him dearly she is not as comfortable with him as she obviously is with me. so im guessing that whilst he may love her too he may develop a closer bond with his son if he sticks around this time. thanks again you have helped me to clarify the relationship dynamics :)
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Thanks for the update and the clarification. Babies are easy to love -- they smile and gurgle and can easily be made to laugh. It's a whole different thing to make a relationship with a functioning human being, which your 11 year old daughter is. To be blunt, an 11 year old is more interesting than an infant. More challenging, too. If her father has good intentions and she's willing, there's no reason they can't have a perfectly wonderful relationship. It's night and day between a baby boy and an 11 year old girl -- there shouldn't be any conflict.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou to you both, going on from the question my daughter is 11 and me and her dad split up when she was five months and he chose not to see her between the ages of two to six (i was a pain at the time i admit). her dad is now married and his wife has just had a little boy. going by the fact due to him living away and so only sees my daughter for a week at a time every three to four months though he calls her every week and that he will be with his newborn son all the time do you not think he will come to love his boy or maybe even love him more already??
he is close to my daughter and she looks just like him as does this newborn boy but surely he will prefer his son more than her?? thankyou for your advise both of you are clearly intelligent people whose opinion i value :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): They might have more in common with their sons because they are both male but it doesn't mean they love the son more than the daughter. Men have different brains and think differently than woman so they will definitely understand or relate to the son better. But every case is different. In general this may be the case.
But a good dad will definitely make time and effort to relate to all his kids in the best way he can.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Depends on the father and the kids. My dad is close with all five of us girls and also close with his two boys.
In Sigmund Freud's theory, the girls first loves are their fathers and that is who they model their boyfriends/husbands after. The mother's are the boys first loves and that is who they model their girlfriends/wives after. Different for everyone.
Men are usually closer to their sons in regards to male bonding and things like girls, cars and other guy things like that. Men are usually very protective of their daughters, because they are their little girl. So they kind of put them on a pedestal and try not to let anyone or anything hurt them.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (29 December 2010):
I'm sure it's different for everyone. It depends on the stage of the child's life -- it's hard to feel close to a teenager who's doing her best to pull away, as an example. I'm closer in turns to each of my kids depending upon how open they are and how much they want me around. Gender doesn't seem to matter.
There are some men who pine for sons and who don't think daughters are as valuable, so perhaps that sort would be closer to his son. I doubt that's so typical any more.
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